Morgan shook his head. "There are much worse issues that I have to deal with than a single man and single woman being physically intimate without the approval of the church. So Castellanos was hurt in her last mission?"
"She was shot in her body armor," Brutus said. "That's all she could tell me, which makes it even worse because now she's gone, literally from my arms, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it!"
Brutus growled, balling his hands into fists. He felt so powerless, and he hated it, screwing his eyes shut, he confessed, "Dammit, the woman I love is in danger and I'm sitting here in the fucking sun doing jack shit about it!"
He felt tears threaten, and was surprised when he felt a warm hand on his neck. "Padre, I don't need..."
"That isn't me," Morgan said.
Brutus opened his eyes to see Major Kota patting him on the back, rubbing his neck. Morgan was standing next to him, his hands behind his back and a knowing smile on his face. Kota's comforting grip was so surprising that Brutus stopped, and Kota removed his hand.
"I understand," Kota said. "Not that I have any lovers, my wife's at home today. But my friends are out there right now in Alpha and Charlie companies. If it helps, I've gotten some communication from Colonel Remsburg, they're doing just fine. Keep that between us. But it sucks, sitting here trying to hold down the fort while people we care about are in harm's way."
"How do you deal with it?" Brutus asked.
Kota shook his head.
"I'm not the man to talk to," Kota admitted. "Do you know why I took the XO spot here? I turned down my silver oak leaf this last promotion cycle to remain the XO of the 3/3 because I love Special Ops so much. Now, you can guess how much my wife liked me passing up five thousand dollars a year to hang out here in Virginia instead of being a battalion commander in Texas or Kentucky or better yet, Germany. Especially since I'm nearing twenty years in service. If I don't get my ass up and out of here soon, the Army's going to say goodbye to me."
"So who would I talk to?" Brutus asked. "Sabby's nice, but she's... no offense, she's young as hell. And my therapist doesn't understand. He'll let me talk, and knows a lot of psychology, but he doesn't know."
Kota laughed. "True. If you want though, you might try talking to my wife. She's faced this for a long time, going all the way back to my first deployment. I was a still wet behind the ears butter bar, the epitome of the old joke that the most dangerous person in the Army is a second lieutenant who says his troops should do something based on his experience. I was in the Tenth Mountain back then, and at that time, communications back home were spotty at best. We were out in the boonies of Afghanistan, literally in the mountains for most of it, and the best I could do was get a once a week email, and a ten minute video call about once every two months. To say it was hard for Nina is understating things."
"So how'd you get through it?" Brutus asked. "Because I'm near nuts, and it's only been about a day."
"Lot of faith, which the Padre here can help you with if you want," Kota said, "and she got into other activities. There's a reason so many military spouses get into those home sales careers. They talk about becoming a regional rep or whatever, but the truth is they're throwing those Tupperware parties, makeup parties, candle parties, whatever, because they need something to put all that energy into. If they don't do that, they throw themselves into being parents, or they find some other hobby. For Nina it's the guitar. She started learning, and now is a really good acoustic player. She teaches lessons, if you're interested."
"Guitar player, huh?" Brutus considered it. Anything to fill the emptiness Linda left behind.
"Unfortunately, her and Sabby Goodman have very different tastes in what constitutes good guitar music," Kota said agreeably. "Actually, guitar is why Nina came to mind when you mentioned Sabby. I thought of someone else in the battalion who can help guide you. They've both had lots of experience."
"So why stay in the unit?" Brutus asked. "You've done your bit for king and country, as the saying goes."
"Here in my gut, I can't walk away," Kota said. "My time in the operational combat world is drawing to a close unless a battalion command in the 75th Rangers opens up, but I'm not leaving until I have to. I did move to special operations like the 3/3 though because our missions do tend to be short, in and out missions. While those almost always mean we can't talk with the family back home, we're also home a lot more. I've been able to be there for both of my daughter's births, and only missed one graduation, a preschool graduation for my younger daughter."
"That's not too bad," Brutus said. "I mean, preschool isn't exactly high school. Linda and I have been talking about the challenges of the upcoming season. I'm going to be working a football player's schedule, which doesn't line up with the Army all that well."
"Good point," Kota acknowledged. "I can advise you that if you're this worked up about it now, it means that whatever feelings you have for Castellanos are deep, and they're genuine. Now I'm not one to go pushing people into matchmaking situations, but I won't be not cheering for you."
Brutus nodded, and after a bit more conversation, including exchanging phone numbers with Kota and Morgan, got ready to leave. "Hey, Chris?"
Morgan stopped at his car, and came over. "Yeah?"
"Doesn't it bother you, the Major calling you 'Padre' when you're not Catholic?" he asked curiously. "Or is it a military chaplain thing?"
Morgan laughed softly. "The second one. I think ever since M*A*S*H, just about every military chaplain in the service has been called 'Padre' at some point or another. I don't mind. I'm here to counsel and comfort the troops, regardless of how they prefer to have a relationship with a Higher Power."
"So you counsel other faiths?"
Morgan nodded. "If possible of course I'll direct a soldier to someone of their own faith as a matter of professional courtesy. But in a pinch, I've discussed some Buddhist holy texts with troops. In Sergeant Castellanos's team, Takeshi Satomura and I have had fascinating conversations about the interplay of faiths in his homeland, and the Shinto underpinnings of much of Japanese culture."
"Interesting."
"By the way, I would suggest calling Nina Kota. Nina's not just a good guitar player, she's also the head of the battalion Family Readiness Group. It's imperfect, but they help in times like this."
Brutus nodded, stroking his chin. "I might... because I'm going to recruit them for something. I did it last time they had a mission as well. When the companies get back, I'm going to throw them a welcome home party. I don't have a lot of time until I have to report to training camp, and I'm going to make every minute I can with Linda special."
"That's sounds like a good thing," Morgan said, "but if I can offer some advice, don't throw the party. It'll become a habit, and once those are set, it'll cause hurt feelings when the habit stops. Now, spoil and pamper Castellanos? Of course. But the 3/3 are professionals. Now if you want to throw them a big Christmas or Thanksgiving party, they'll be more than happy for that. But the battalion tends to keep their coming home celebrations internal and casual. At least until your last dose of generosity, which they probably excused because you were a first timer."
