“It’s not an excuse,” Emily interrupted before Bette could blame herself. A woman scorned was never to be blamed. “If she wasn’t happy, she could’ve told you instead of fucking your neighbor in your car. That’s on her, Bette. Not you.”
Bette smiled, and for the first time, Emily saw her guard drop. Not enough to call it gone, but enough for Emily’s heart to flutter and her stomach to feel queasy. This was the Bette she had seen the other night when they slept together. Unguarded.
“She broke something in me,” Bette admitted. “Trust doesn’t come easily after that. I’ve been scared of making the same mistakes, of missing the signs again.”
Emily’s heart cracked a little at those words. Without thinking, she reached out and covered Bette’s hand with her own. “You won’t make the same mistakes again. And not everyone is like her, Bette. Some of us… We’re not going to hurt you.”
Bette’s eyes met Emily’s, searching for something—truth, reassurance, or maybe just some kind of answer. The only answer Emily could give was what she was about to do next. She didn’t overthink it. Didn’t have to. She just leaned in, her hand cupping the side of Bette’s face as she kissed her. It wasn’t like before; no heat, no real urgency, just a soft press of lips.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Emily whispered, her mouth still pressed against Bette’s. “I promise.”
15
BETTE
“Ican’t believe I’ve never done this,” Bette said, hopping onto the scooter and fumbling slightly with the throttle. She’d been living there for a few months, and somehow hadn’t gotten around to doing something as simple as renting an electric scooter. It felt too touristy, like something out-of-towners did while checking off their to-do list.
Emily thought differently.
The whole thing had been her idea. She’d insisted they enjoyed their Saturday morning outdoors. Frankly, Bette couldn’t disagree more. She was more than happy to lie in bed, naked, holding Emily in her arms, summer sheets loose around their bodies, while they binged watchedFriendsand ate the leftover pizza from last night.
Not that Bette was hating the whole thing.
She clicked the throttle and finally started rolling forward, a nervous laugh slipping out when she wobbled for a second before getting her balance. The breeze felt good against her face. The morning sun was hot but not unbearable, the sky above her head was that perfect endless blue, and the air smelled salty and fresh like the ocean.
But none of that compared to the feeling of watching Emily cruise ahead of her.
The surgeon looked completely at ease as if the scooter was just an extension and she was in her element. Bette couldn’t help admiring her—that loose white tank top barely skimming the waistband of her denim shorts; her long, toned legs that made Bette lose her breath completely when Emily wrapped them around her; and her auburn hair, which was hanging a little longer behind her back now compared to the first time they’d met.
Fuck, she’s beautiful, Bette thought, biting at her lip to keep her smiling like an idiot. But what was wrong with that? Why couldn’t she just let herself smile more, let it stretch across her face? Why was she still reeling herself in? She’d spent so many weeks, months keeping herself in check, keeping up her walls. But now there was no need.
Three weeks had passed since Bette had confessed her feelings for Emily. Three weeks of whatever it was that was going on between them. And honestly, the last three weeks had been perfect. Early mornings were spent together at the hospital cafeteria drinking coffee. Quick sneaky kisses in the surgical ward’s storage room. Then there were the dinners after work, the sleepovers, the early morning walks on the beach. Tiny, wonderful moments that built up into something more.
Bette sped up the scooter a little, trying to catch up, but the wind in her face made her feel like she was flying, and frankly, it was a little terrifying. One wrong turn of the handle, and she could be flung through the air, crashing to the ground in a broken-boned heap.
But wasn’t that exactly what she was doing with Emily? Soaring through the unknown, hoping her wings would hold, that they wouldn’t betray her and send her plummeting.
“You should get yourself one of these!” Emily shouted, glancing back over her shoulder, not paying attention to the road, which only made Bette squirm and her heart beat faster.
“Not if I want to keep my bones intact,” Bette yelled back, thankful for the helmet secured on her head and the knee and elbow pads she’d opted for when they first rented the scooters.
Emily slowed down just enough to let Bette catch up. “If I lived out here, this would definitely be my way of getting around. Can you imagine how quickly it would take to get to Oakridge?”
“Why don’t you move?” Bette asked, keeping a firm grip on the handlebars. The question was by no means an invitation to move in with her—hell no—but rather a suggestion that Emily find a place nearby. It would make staying over at each other’s place way easier. Not that Emily’s apartment was that far away. It was just that her roommate, Tessa, whom Bette had met last week, wasalwaysthere. And while hushed, roommate-friendly sex had its thrills, it wasn’t exactly ideal.
“Near yours?” Emily asked, frowning while she kept her eyes on the path. “I never thought about it. But if I did move, what’s going to happen to Tessa? She’s like a puppy—I can’t leave her alone too long or she might starve to death.”
Bette laughed and then a thought popped into her head; Tessa renting out the cottage from Jamie. Emily and Bette find somewhere bigger to move in together. But it was completely, and utterly ridiculous. Not to mention, way too soon. They hadn’t even put a label on whatever was going on between them. Besides the slower, the better. Bette didn’t want to rush into things. For now, she just wanted to see where things went.
“You’re right,” Bette said quickly, shaking that thought away. “You’ll have to find a place with a separate space for Tessa. She’s your life-long burden.”
Emily laughed and took the corner with ease. Bette, on the other hand, wobbled. She was dangerously close to swervinginto a trash can and tightened her grip on the handlebars as she straightened herself out. As much as she loved the way the wind tousled her short hair, she also longed for solid ground.
“Should we stop at Centennial Park?” Bette called, her voice carrying over the hum of the scooters. “Have a picnic.”
“Are you asking because you’re hungry or because you want to stop riding before you crash into something?”
“Can it be both?” Bette said deadpan, which drew a laugh from Emily. A sound she’d come to savor far too much over the last three weeks.
