“But…”
“I’m not trying to play hardball with you. I want to make sure you want more from me than just my body.”
“Idowant more from you. Haven’t we established that?”
“And I want us to have the future I know we can have.”
“So do I. It’s just…”
“You’re scared.”
His eyes snapped open. He probably would’ve slugged me—you know, if I’d said that in the days before he hadn’t wanted to lose me.
“I’m not scared,” he said.
“You’re scared shitless then.”
He rolled his eyes. This was no time for jokes. Obviously, he wanted to impress that on me. I had to do something to lighten the mood but had only been half-joking anyway. I would be lyingif I told you the idea didn’t make me tense too. But we couldn’t be scared to be ourselves. We had to face fear head-on.
“All I’m asking is for you to give us a shot,” I said. “Just try.”
“And if I do, you won’t…?”
Won’t what? Won’t turn my back on him? Won’t out him to the whole team? Won’t withhold sex for the next decade?
I wouldn’t push for an answer, at least not right now. If you could’ve seen how vulnerable Kayden looked in that moment, you’d totally understand. The only promise I could make was that I truly believed we had a bright future together. Don’t ask me why. I just knew.
Kayden kept his head bowed over two balled fists, eyes closed. This must’ve driven him crazy, but he knew he couldn’t run from it.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll do it.”
“You’ll give a relationship a try?”
He nodded, threw his arms around me, and kissed my lips. Then I rested my head on his chest.
“I love you,” I said.
I didn’t plan that. The words slipped out of my mouth before I could call them back.
Kayden stayed silent.
28
KAYDEN
“Eight!” I grunted, teeth clenched, and pushed the barbell off my chest. Erik stood over me, his fingers curled just under the bar. “Nine!”
I suspended the barbell up high, feeling the tension—and exhaustion—in my muscles. Did I have it in me to do one more rep? You’re damn right I did, but I held off for as long as possible. The barbell weighed four hundred pounds, with four fifty-pound plates on each side. It was now or never. I lowered the weights down onto my chest and squeezed my eyes shut, My face must’ve looked like a tomato, but I had to do this. No way could I give up with one rep to go.
For a moment, I thought my arms would give out and four hundred pounds of steel would crush me. That would make one interesting headline, wouldn’t it? “HOCKEY STUD CRUSHED BY OWN BARBELL.” Even reminding myself that I was Kayden Preston, and therefore practically Superman didn’t leave me with much confidence.
“Come on, babe, you can do it,” Erik said.
That did it. I nearly dropped the weights on myself, but not for the reasons you’d think. Ihatedit when he called me babe.Ever since becoming a couple, he’d called me that way too many times, and no amount of correcting seemed to deter him.
And why not? That action alone was so Erik. And it nearly caused me to lose control of the weights. That would’ve been my excuse anyway. When the steel touched my chest, I tried pushing it up but couldn’t. Oh, shit! I waited for Erik to pull the barbell back up—but he didn’t. The guy just stood there!
“Would you pull the weight off me already!” I grunted. “Jesus!”
