“Oh, I dunno. This is Buffalo, De Ruiter, not New York City. It’s not the capital of anonymity. Any of the guys from the team could see us. What do we tell them?”
“Tell them whatever you want.”
I hated answers like that. You know why? They always minimized my worries like I’m some kind of dope. That’s being kind, actually. It treated my concern like a non-issue, which was total bullshit.
“Like, if we go out for a beer, I could tell them that we’re just hanging out?”
“If they’ll believe that.”
He sounded so sly saying that, like he really wanted to rub it in. You know, as if they wouldn’t assume he was gay just the same.
“Why wouldn’t they?”
“Oh, I dunno, we didn’t exactly act like best buds before. They don’t know that anything’s changed. We shouldn’t be off having beers together.”
“Maybe we buried that hatchet?”
He shrugged. “Like I said, I don’t care what you tell them.”
It was official. My teammate wasn’t just a pain, but batshit crazy.
“And you’ll keep it on the down-low?”
Oh my God, was I really thinking of going along with this? Judging by all I’d said, it sure sounded like it. I’d had one-nighters with girls that turned into two, three, or even four-night stands. I hadn’t dated any of them. We weren’t in love. They hadn’t made Erik’s dumbass demands.
It was sex. Just sex.
If Erik wasn’t gay, what was he turning this into?
I reached out, pulled him in close, and kissed him again. At the very least, I wanted to enjoy that.
He smiled.
“You like that, don’t you?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
He smiled in a sheepish way. That looked said he felt weird admitting that to anyone, not just a guy. If he liked it so much,why wouldn’t he go for more? Why did he have to complicate something so simple?
“I don’t need to take you on a date forthat, do I?” I asked.
“No.”
“What’s the difference?”
“I think you know the difference, Kayden. Kissing is one thing. I’ve kissed tons of girls I wasn’t in a relationship with. But not sex. I was always dating the girl.”
Okay, that one blew my mind, partly because I didn’t know how he could show that much restraint without exploding. But there was more. Dating? Relationships? Love? This was all starting to become way too much.
“So, if I go on this little date, we can finally get down to some real business again?”
“I don’t know.”
I felt like I finally had the right answers, and Erik had changed the questions.
“You don’t know?” I asked. “How can you not?”
“I didn’t make any promises. How can I? All I told you was that we wouldn’t be sleeping together again until we’veat leasthad a first date.”
