“Why not?”
“Because it’s just not the sort of thing I’ve ever done before.”
“Well,duh. I’d never been with a guy before either. I’m not saying I would do this with any guy. Just you. So, what do you say to doing it again?”
He shook his head.
I choked, trying to force the words out. My blood pressure spiked. What the hell did I have to tell this kid to win him over?
“Look,” I said, “I know the locker room is kind of an awkward place, not to mention that anyone could’ve walked in on us. And the bench was really hard—but not as hard as I was, huh?”
“There you go congratulating yourself again.”
“But you can come over to my place, and we can actually do it in a bed. I have a roommate, but he’s never there. No worries about privacy.”
“This isn’t about privacy, Kayden. Okay, maybe it is a little about that. I won’t lie to you. I did want it, but felt like I’d rushed into things.”
“Now who’s the scared one?”
“I’m not scared, Kayden. Do you see me denying anything?”
“No.”
“I can’t do this with just anyone. Not when my head is clear.”
“I guess you never had a girlfriend back home, huh?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“And she never put out for you?”
He lifted an eyebrow like that was too crass for his delicate sensibilities.
“We had sex,” he said. “People do have sex in Canada, you know. But we didn’t just tear one off, if you get what I’m saying.”
“I don’t think I do get what you’re saying.”
“I can’t just have sex with someone that easily.”
“That ship has already sailed, bro.”
“Yeah, it’s too late because we both got carried away, and I can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. If I’d really known what I was doing…if I’d been thinking rationally…”
“You wouldn’t have done it.”
“Maybe not right then, but…”
“Okay, I don’t know where you’re going with this. Are you saying you wouldn’t have done this if you hadn’t lost your mind?”
“Something like that.”
I paused, drifting deep into thought. Erik stole that opportunity to slip out the door and leave me standing there like a complete idiot.
I’m telling you, this kid was impossible. First, he wanted me to talk about things. Second, he gave it all up for me. Third, he started being the difficult one. Maybe that was all part of his master plan. He was playing hard to get. If so, then I was totally game.
17
ERIK
