“You didn’t have to rescue me,” I said. “I could’ve handled myself just fine, thank you.”
“I doubt you could’ve handled much while face down on the ice.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“No,youshut up.”
Kayden was asking for it.
My eyes shifted to his chest, which strained against his shirt, as if raring to burst free. Then my eyes returned to his, and I fell back into his trap. I couldn’t think about that. Ishouldn’t. Kayden was off-limits. No matter what I told myself, I couldn’t stop.
“I swear to God, Kayden, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to?—”
“What are you going to do, De Ruiter? Go ahead and tell me. What are you going to do?”
I no longer stared into those eyes. Instead, they fixed themselves on my body, binding me, like they could control my every move. And then it happened, the moment I snapped, and crossed the point of no return. I lunged forward…or Kayden heaved himself toward me. It all happened so fast I couldn’t tell for sure.
For all I knew, we’d done it simultaneously.
We fell into each other’s arms, our lips locking immediately. I thought again of a dam bursting and a deluge gushing through. Our mouths opened, my tongue slipping past his lips. His tongue lapped over mine. I tasted mint from his chewing gum as his stubble scratched my face.
Oh my God, his arms felt so powerful wrapped around me. My hands ran up and down his mighty back, and I pressed his body hard against mine, wanting to squeeze every drop of juice from the moment.
My eyes fell shut. For a second, it felt like falling, like I’d let go in the most freeing way possible. The entire world had vanished. In that moment, Kayden Preston and I were the only two people in existence.
And then we broke away from the kiss suddenly. Kayden released me from his arms, and I nearly tumbled backwards. Our eyes stayed fixed on one another. At first, I felt like I’d been awakened from a sweet dream. Once reality set in, I felt stunned, not knowing what to say, and refused to admit how wonderful Kayden had made me feel.
For the first time, I saw fear in Kayden’s eyes. He looked like a deer in headlights.
“I…uh…I’ve gotta go.” He hurried toward the locker room door but didn’t run. That would’ve confirmed his fear. When I started noticing those things about Kayden, I hadn’t realized this would happen. I couldn’t have dreamed of the outright loss of control.
Maybe I should have.
10
KAYDEN
You lost control…
Those three words had eaten away at me since the locker room incident. I couldn’t block out those thoughts any more than I could change the past.
First of all, I didn’t plan that kiss. I know, I know, I’ve admitted to having weird feelings. I definitely haven’t denied checking him out, but I didn’t mean to kiss my teammate or take him into my arms. No matter what Erik tells you, I never wanted to kiss him. Since I couldn’t stop those crazy thoughts, I told myself not to act on them.
Look but don’t touch. Get what I’m saying?
But I lost control. Something had ignited a fire, and I chucked all reason out the window.
Now that I’d kissed him, he’d kissed me, we’d kissed each other, I couldn’t take it back. How could I? The cinnamon taste from his mouth haunted my lips. I figured he chewed Big Red gum. I still felt his beard scratch my face. The spicy scent of his cologne still filled my nostrils.
I could retake control by telling Erik that it would never happen again, but that meant thinking about it. And I wouldhave to admit that it’d happened. Erik would know that it bothered me too. That would give him the victory I didn’t need. On the other hand, I would go crazy if I didn’t say something.
I spotted Erik leaving a classroom in Wilson Hall and flagged him down. The little wimp barely turned to me before continuing down the hall. I’m telling you that was the worst job of pretending not to notice someone I’d ever seen. I sprinted up to him, jumping right in his path, but wouldn’t look directly at him. That would spell trouble.
He paused, grunted, and tried to walk past me, but I blocked him. Again, I averted my eyes so I wouldn’t succumb to temptation.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“You know damn well what I want.”
