I didn’t answer that. Like I said, it could lead somewhere I didn’t want to go. Besides, if Kayden didn’t know, then he obviously hadn’t made his own decision. If that was the case, why would I know?
Those blue eyes of his stayed fixed on me. Even now, after all we’d been through, those eyes could melt me. Their power was far too great to ignore. I couldn’t let him take control, so I turned away from him.
Kayden swung around in front of me, and I felt the power of those blue eyes again. I breathed several deep breaths, in and out, nice and slow.
“Well?” he asked.
I couldn’t avoid him now. If I said we were broken up, that would make it final. There would be no turning back. Oh sure, people went back to guys they’d broken up with before, but this would be different. If I actuallysaidit, then I would be stuck with it.
Here’s another thing: his eyes were kind of like the sun. You know that you shouldn’t look directly at it, but you do anyway. When I caved into temptation, I started thinking about his lips pressed against mine. The sweet taste felt new again. I remembered the first time I felt his hard cock brush against my leg. Most of all, I thought of the first time we’d torn off our clothes and become one.
I had to stop thinking about that. That was killing me.
“Look,” I said, “let’s not get into this.”
“Why not? I need answers, and so do you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing this would go away but understood that it wouldn’t as long as he stood there looking so incredible.
But maybe that was all Kayden Preston had ever been: just a gorgeous stud with nothing more to offer.
“You know that this is only going to hurt the team, don’t you?” he asked.
I skated away from him. I didn’t look back either. If I did that, I would have to look at those blue eyes again. If I looked at those blue eyes, I could get hard. If I got hard then…
I’d freed myself and would survive for another day.
And I didn’t owe him anything. We’d broken up. Period. Even if we hadn’t agreed on exactly what to call it, that was what we were.
At this point, going back sounded like the craziest thing on earth.
48
KAYDEN
Game seven started with the US and Canada national anthems. Each note of the Canadian national anthem cut through me like a knife. Yeah, yeah, I know how badly I’ve made fun of Canadiansy, but it’s true. I never would’ve expected to feel the least bit emotional over that song, but now I couldn’t deny I had tears in my eyes.
I wiped them away, hoping no one would notice.
The anthem made me think of Erik. Flat out. I wouldn’t bother denying it. Actually, it did more than make me think of Erik. It made me think about all the good times—and bad. Even the bad things didn’t seem so awful in retrospect. Sometimes you’ve got to deal with those bad things to reach a better end.
I wanted to believe a better end was possible. Maybe Erik wouldn’t have , but I couldn’t force the thought out of my head. It felt like a eureka moment. I knew what I wanted in this world but worried it was out of reach.
The Star Spangled Bannerbrought me back to reality. I felt emotional for different reasons, but my feelings for Erik hadn’t left me. I resisted the urge to glance at my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend, whatever—because I worried that would do no good.
It would remind me of what I wanted and what would be needed to get it. And you couldn’t just halt the start of game seven because you’ve had the personal revelation of a lifetime.
The crowd roared from the moment the anthems had finished, and the lights had come back on. It was deafening.
The puck would soon drop, and our fate would be decided. I steeled myself for whatever would come.
The title would be decided between us Larkin Lions and a team called the Bobcats. I faced off against a brick wall of a hockey player named Holbrook. He didn’t scare me, but I knew what he was capable of. Like, he could knock me flat on my ass without thinking twice. I forced thoughts of Erik De Ruiter out of my head as much as possible as Holbrook and I eyed one another.
When the puck dropped, Holbrook swiped it from me, racing down the ice. I chased after him, summoning all the energy possible but couldn’t catch up.
Holbrook put the puck in the net. Just like that.
Honest to god, less than thirty seconds into the first period, and the Bobcats had scored their first goal.
