Our server returned to the table with the bill, which I’m sure my teammate expected me to pick up now. I would do it to make up for nearly snapping his hand off..
I realized that none of my concerns really mattered now. At first, I’d worried that I would lose Kayden because he couldn’t come out. Now an entirely new issue threatened us. I had no answers and even less control over it. As much as I wanted totake things as they came, I just couldn’t. I’d already dreamed of what life would be like if the worst happened. I won’t deny that, at this point, I worried I could never live a life without Kayden Preston in it.
40
KAYDEN
We were in the conference championship game. Hang on a second. Let me say that again.We were in the conference championship game. Like, just one step closer to the championship series. God, that felt so good. I repeated that phrase to myself ad nauseum. If I didn’t, I would’ve barely believed we’d made it that far. You’d think I fully expected to make it that far—and beyond. It would’ve been a total given, right? Something about actually reaching that stage felt different to me than I’d expected. It felt dreamlike, surreal, and I needed to drink it all in.
As I absorbed all that’d been happening to me, to us, I couldn’t help thinking long and hard about Erik’s on-ice performance. He’d played well, don’t get me wrong. He’d even be great one day. But he had these moments where his inconsistencies showed. Like, he slowed down when he should’ve picked up the pace. His timing seemed off.
It wasn’t criminal, don’t get me wrong. Nerves could’ve gotten the best of him for all I knew. Not that I blamed him for that per se. I’d had plenty of butterflies in my own stomach—I’monly human, after all. But the point is that I wouldn’t let them stand in the way of my ultimate goal.
Erik had come over to my place after the game. We hit the bedroom immediately because everyone deserved a reward. The sex continued to be stellar; he hadn’t slacked at that. Oh yeah, we’d meant to put stuff like that aside, owing to the potential distraction, but we needed something to ease our tension too. Like I said, I’m only human.
My boyfriend lay naked in my bed when I stood up and took a moment to admire him like a painting in a museum. Then I slipped my underwear on. Aside from hot sex, the Larkin Lions and reaching the championship series were the only things on my mind. Well, that and going back to Erik for a second round.
But back to business.
“You’re gonna have to pick it up for the conference championship game, you know.” I said it without thinking. Whatever. This was serious stuff and needed to be said.
“What do you mean? We won the game, didn’t we?”
“I know we did, but we’ve got to win the next game and then the next. We can’t have any dicking around. You know how high the stakes are.”
“Of course I do. I’m not an idiot.”
Erik’s voice sounded so sharp that I couldn’t possibly miss the notes of irritation. That didn’t bother me exactly, but I knew I would have to address it before it interfered with our play.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
“Nope.”
“Come on, Erik. Don’t be like that. I know when something’s wrong, so you might as well come right out and say it.”
“Well, for one thing, you don’t need to critique my play.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Why wouldn’t you? Dude, it’s not up to you to tell me how to play hockey. That’s Coach Hardison’s job last time I checked.”
“And it’s my job as team captain to hold you accountable. I mean, co-captain.”
My boyfriend smiled and nodded, like he just knew that my mistake wasn’t really that much of a goof-up.
“Erik,” I said, “you were skating with two left feet for some of that last game. What was I supposed to say? You were as graceful as a ballerina?”
“Nothing, and shut up! I wasnotskating with two left feet and I’m not a fucking ballerina.”
“You played well, but you were a little off by your usual standard. What am I supposed to do? Pretend you were Wayne Gretzky out there?”
“You could’ve done the decent thing and not said anything at all.”
“That’s not how this works. You know that.”
“How would you like it if I nitpicked the hell out of your play like that? You didn’t exactly have a perfect game, you know.”
“I never said I had a perfect game.”
