“I guess what I’m really trying to say is that if I do get drafted, it’ll be by another team,” I said.
“Yeah, like the Sabres or Bruins or Flyers. Being in the same division would be the closest thing to being as cool as us playing for the same team.”
“Only we wouldn’t be on the same team.”
He lifted his eyebrow a little.
“We’d be rivals,” I said. “And there’s no guarantee it’ll even be a team from the same division.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“And there’s more. Even if Iamdrafted by one of them, one of us might be in the big leagues and the other stuck in the minors. We’ll always be apart.”
He paused again, this time grabbing his napkin, wiping his face and fingers. For the first time, the full implications and realities of this seemed to hit home for him. I didn’t mean to burst his bubble or anything. I’m the optimist here, not the pessimist, at least as far as I was concerned. And yet, I couldn’t help but consider these points.
Think about it. He could be playing at Madison Square Garden in New York City while I was playing in some arena that no one had ever heard of. We could call and text, but life as we knew it would so change.
I’ll tell you something: I didn’t know if I was prepared for that. After all the time we’d spent together and everything we’d shared, I worried I couldn’t handle being without him.
“I get what you’re saying,” he said.
“I don’t want you to misunderstand me. I’m not saying it’s going to spell doom, but it won’t be easy, and now’s the time to start thinking about it.”
“You think this could eventually spell doom for us, don’t you?”
He reached across the table and cupped his hands over mine. Then he pulled back, realizing how that would’ve looked had anyone in the bar glanced at our table. Gestures like that had become second nature for him already.
My boyfriend looked a little frightened, like he knew he’d nearly let the cat out of that bag after only so much provocation. On the other hand, he didn’t seem alarmed by the potential roadblock in our path.
“Okay,” he said, “even if it doesn’t spell doom, it’s going to be really hard for us.”
“Right.”
“But when you think about it, it’s not all bad.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I’m with the Leafs, we could make it work. I guess I would be living around Toronto, even if I’m playing for one of their minor league affiliates. And hey, you’ve already got the right to live in Canada. There’s no reason we couldn’t get a place of our own north of the border.”
And then explain why we both live together when we’ve never come out, I thought but kept it to myself.
“Yes, there is,” I said. “You could be in Toronto, but I could be living in Los Angeles. Or Dallas. Or Columbus. Or who knows where else. And god forbid we ever have to square off against each other on the ice. I don’t want to have to hand you your ass in a totally different way.”
Kayden arched his eyebrows. “Oh, ho, ho, you really want to get into that, huh?”
When he talked like that, my boyfriend was always ninety-nine percent kidding. The one percent was because he was too competitive for that fire to die completely.
“Of course I do,” I said. “Winning’s everything, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Winning isn't everything? Are you crazy?”
“Nope. Winning isn't everything; it’s theonlything.”
I couldn’t help laughing at that. My boyfriend wasn’t known for his sense of humor. If he could be legitimately funny during any kind of tense or contentious moment, I would absolutely take it.
“I will say one thing,” he said, “and I’m not trying to be a jerk, but sometimes you put the cart before the horse.”
