Well, shit. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that Erik would find yet another way to turn things around on me, but I was. He had me on the ropes right now but I would bounce back.
“Look,” I said, “you know how great a job I do at keeping myself focused at all times.”
“But if this were anything else, you’d be telling me about how much of a distraction it would be for the whole team.”
“Oh, I would not.”
“Yes, you would. You’ve already given me the doomsday spiel. I haven’t forgotten, you know.”
“If you’re talking about what I think you are, they’re two separate things.”
“Not in my world, they’re not.”
I’ll admit it: I was an idiot for letting myself fall deeper into this argument. The more I pursued it, the more he would find ways to turn things around on me. Sure, I could keep my mouth shut, but then I wouldn’t be Kayden Preston.
On the other hand, they reallyweretwo separate things. And would it have killed him to shut the hell up and just behappy for me? I hadn’t heard a “congratulations” or even “that’s awesome!” out of the guy.
Again, if I pointed that out to him, he would twist the whole thing, paint me as the bad guy, and send me back to square one.
“So, what do you want me to do?” I asked. “Tell the scout I’m not interested?”
“That’s not what I’m trying to say. I just want you to be consistent, that’s all.”
“I thought Ihavebeen consistent. All I’ve ever talked about was making it big one day. Now it looks like that day might be coming sooner than expected.”
But I knew that this wasn’t what Erik really wanted to hear. I knew he was talking about the fact that I hadn’t agreed to come out to the team. And yeah, I was willing to adjust one part of my plan and not another. But it’s not like I had a written contract.
I would try to smooth this over as only I could.
“But there’s nothing to worry about,” I said, throwing my arms around him. “No matter what happens, you’ll always be my number one guy.”
I kissed his lips, hoping that would fix everything like it usually did.
“Great,” he said, pulling away from me. “That makes me feel so much better.”
“I don’t know what else you want from me.”
Erik said nothing more, just looked away. Big freaking surprise, huh?
Look, this guy was being totally impossible. I couldn’t even take it all that seriously. He just had to rain on my parade. The problem was, I knew damn well I hadn’t heard the end of it. Like, if I said anything about this, he would say I was getting distracted. If I fucked up on the ice, he would blame it on being contacted by the scout.
I could put it all aside for now, but I knew this topic would come up again and again the closer I came to realizing my NHL dreams. Erik or no Erik, I would let nothing stand in my way.
37
ERIK
Kayden and I had gone out to the Colter Bay Grill again. You could say it’d become our place. Only the serving staff would recognize us as “those two guys that always come in together” instead of our rightful title as a couple. We still couldn’t be who we are, even in a familiar place. But that’s a different gripe for another day.
On this particular day, the problem was about Kayden and his chances at becoming the Toronto Maple Leafs’ latest prospect. In this case, I was the problem. I know, I know. Usually, it was just Kayden acting like a horse’s ass. Now I was the one in the wrong, and it felt so weird. But I’ll tell you what: When I’m in the wrong, I’m more than willing to admit it. That’s exactly what I did as he chowed down on a double order of wings.
Of course, my boyfriend ate his wings in his customary way: like a total neanderthal. He jammed a full wing into his mouth, and what he pulled back was mostly clean bone.
Thank God no civilized person I knew was anywhere near us. What a sight that would’ve been!
I almost worried I couldn’t distract him, but I had something eating a hole in my conscience. I needed to get it out before it drove me crazy.
“I owe you an apology,” I said.
