A sweet smile flashed his way. “Yeah.”
Rain’s eyes fell closed. “I’m so sorry.”
The guy winked. “Don’t be. I’m happy to work with any doctor who brings down the roof for us the way Dr. Flowers did. The staff here have never felt safer or more appreciated.”
Rain looked Austen’s way.
He seemed almost embarrassed. “You flatlined. I might’ve shown out a little.”
A few nervous chuckles rumbled around the room.
“It was awesome,” Field said, returning to his ridiculous self. “I hope to have a fierce zaddy one day too.”
Rain covered his eyes. They were really proving why he hadn’t introduced them.
Austen chuckled.
The sound made Rain smile. He didn’t know where this shit show was headed with his family, but he was glad he had Austen. Just like Austen’s staff, he had never felt more protected. He hoped like hell he could keep him.
Chapter Seven
WhileAustentreatedRainlike an absolute dream, he felt like they tiptoed around the subject of his family. Rain knew Austen deserved answers. He knew Austen needed to fully know him if they were in this for the long haul. Rain just wasn’t ready to expose another weakness. It was bad enough Austen already cared for him at his lowest.
But as Rain stared at Austen with nothing but the light from the TV highlighting his gorgeous body next to him in bed, he knew he couldn’t hide. It was way too soon. They had only been dating for two months. Unfortunately, Rain couldn’t pretend to need help any longer and he would need to get back to real life soon. If he hoped to hang on to this beautiful thing, he had to drag out the ugly for Austen to see.
“We were all raised together in a spy program in Russia.”
Austen turned his head and focused on Rain. His eyes looked dark in the low light. That made it easier for Rain to keep going.
“My brothers and I,” he clarified. Rain understood he had just started talking as if Austen could read his mind and knew what he never stopped worrying about. “It’s a huge program. Ridiculously so. We were raised to infiltrate and blend in while having the skills of the deadliest soldiers.” Rain swallowed. He hated his past, but it felt twice as ugly showing it to Austen. “I’m not even sure where we came from. Surely, we had parents or something, but all that was stripped from us, so I don’t remember a time before them.” Rain twisted his fingers. There was so much he would never say. Killers weren’t born. They were forged by fire. He wouldn’t expose someone beautiful like Austen to that.
He cleared his throat. “It’s not safe to be gay in Russia. That goes double for the position we were in. There were many beautiful girls in the program when I really started to think of such things. In fact, we were chosen for our beauty. Pretty faces get access to more places.” He knew he was stalling, dragging things out. Rain couldn’t stop. His chest hurt. “I knew I was different when all my thoughts toward girls were nonexistent while so many of the others taunted them. Still, I tried incredibly hard to be straight. Pain came to those who didn’t conform. Shadow found me first. We knew we were the same, but didn’t say the words. Since we were so similar in size, we were paired to work with each other, honing our skills as a team. Having him saved my sanity.”
Rain couldn’t stop twisting his fingers. While he didn’t think Austen would reject him, he didn’t want to relive his past. “Shadow caught Ridge’s eye. Too many times, their glanceslasted too long. People started to notice. Before long, Edge and Tracker had joined our little group of outcasts. No one was openly friends, but we knew we had each other’s backs. Then more found us. Field and Crisp. Tidy, Park, and Scout. The list goes on. We ensured we made the perfect teams. Each named for our role. We all honed that skill to perfection, so no one split us apart. Unfortunately, the more of us that came together, the louder people talked. I don’t know if it was jealousy or simply bigotry, but no one kept our secret.”
For a moment, Rain rubbed his hands together. He couldn’t make them warm or find his voice.
Austen set his hand over Rain’s. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. Just tell me this thing is a private company now and you’re not still working for Russia.”
Relief washed over Rain. A chuckle escaped him. “No. I’m definitely not working for them.” He hesitated. “That doesn’t mean I’m safe, though. In fact, that’s why you need to know this. After weeks of torture, we rioted our way to freedom and escaped to America. We band together and work what we know. But the Russian government still wants us very much dead, and we never know when or how’ll they’ll strike. It’s been silent for years, but I can’t get complacent. It would kill me if anything happened to you.”
Austen dragged Rain beneath him, covering him like a human blanket. He swiped a kiss so sweet across his lips, it made Rain’s eyes burn. “There’s no risk I wouldn’t take to stay with you. Not to mention, every day I know one of my clients might decide I’ve seen too much. I’ve always lived with danger hanging over myhead. I stay vigilant and strapped. You don’t have to worry so much. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why?”
Austen—who had been trying to nuzzle Rain’s neck—chuckled at the question. He lifted his head. His eyes shone bright with laughter. “What do you mean, why?”
Rain had never felt more serious. He needed this conversation. “Why do you want this? Why aren’t you scared of who I am?”
The sweetest smile Rain had ever seen touched Austen’s lips. “Because I love you. There’s no way you don’t know that.”
Rain’s throat swelled. The weight of Austen’s confession fell on him. Austen loved him. Him. That was insane. Austen’s other admission swept over his mind. It hadn’t occurred to him how much danger Austen was in from just who his practice served. He would kill any of those old bastards who thought Austen had seen too much. Rain would see them all dead before he let a single hair on Austen’s head get touched. This was his man. His heart. Austen deserved to know it. “I love you too. Tell me there’s no way you don’t know it.”
Austen stole a kiss before answering. “I feel you every second of every day. You’re meant to be mine. I can’t explain that. In fact, I can’t explain anything that’s happened since I first set eyes on you.” A dreamy expression overcame Austen’s features. “You’re just mine and I’m yours.”
Rain could barely breathe. Every word Austen said was perfect and true. He couldn’t lose this. Rain would do whatever it took. Kill whoever he had to. Austen would always be his. There was no escaping him now.
He couldn’t believe Rain admitted to loving him. Austen had never felt so high. He had taken a colossal risk by saying the words first, but it was Rain. They were just comfortable and fit. It murdered his soul to know Rain’s life had been so bad, but Austen had figured as much. He hadn’t even asked because he didn’t need Rain to dig into old wounds to get closer to him. Austen already felt closer to Rain than he ever had anyone.
