“I asked what was on your mind?” Ken responded. “Wait, don't tell me,” he said with a bright, knowing smile. “I’m guessing it’s on account of a woman? A certain blond with blue-gray eyes, to be exact,” he said with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
Paul gave his friend a tight-lipped smile before releasing a heavy sigh and turning to stare at the ripples fanning out across the water as the boat rocked from the slight gust. He was thinking about Nikki. The fact that he hadn’t really talked to her in the past two days, besides a “hello,” and a few questions about the restaurant and the B & B was driving him crazy. He’d wanted to apologize for how insensitive his comment had come off the other day, but he’d also been afraid that he would end up saying the wrong thing again and make the situation worse. He’d opted to stay quiet, mimicking Nikki, but their interactions were awkward at best with fleeting glances that said more than they were willing to share with each other. Plus, he needed to get his feelings in check. A slipup and him telling her exactly how he felt about her wasn’t wise at this time. He didn’t want to scare her away.
After what felt like a long time, Paul rolled his shoulders back to loosen the tension that tightened the muscles. “I have feelings for Nikki,” he finally confessed to his friend in a low, somber tone.
When Ken didn’t immediately respond, he glanced over at his friend with raised brows.
“I called it,” Ken finally said, turning to him with a winning grin. “Want to talk about it?” he asked when Paul remained silent.
“We were high school sweethearts, but then she left to go to college to become a journalist, and I got over it. First love, you know? The only thing is it seems those feelings never left, and now that she’s back and we’ve been spending time together…I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like if she had stayed, what it would feel like now…I want to tell her how I feel.” His shoulders relaxed after he shared his news with Ken. It felt like some load had been taken off them.
“I could have told you that a million times back,” Ken joked. “The fact that you’ve been so distracted this whole trip… I reeled in more and the biggest fish in the river…” He pointed at the pile of fish on his side compared to Paul’s own meager catch, then continued to talk. “If nothing else, it tells me that your feelings for her are pretty strong,” he finished, agreeing with his own statement.
“Yeah,” Paul replied, his mouth set in a grim line.
“Something tells me you’re not pleased by that revelation,” Ken predicted.
“Geez. What gave it away?” Paul’s tone dripped with sarcasm.
Ken waited for his explanation.
Paul breathed in deeply before expelling the heavy, toxic air from his lungs. It did nothing to release the tight coils like binding wires swirling around in his stomach.
“I feel like I’m betraying Nat’s memories…the life we built, shared together.” He looked over at his friend briefly, his face painted with the guilt he felt before turning back to the water.
“I may not be able to tell you exactly what you need to hear, but I believe Nat would want you to be happy, Paul. It’s okay to love more than one person, especially when they come into your life at the right time. The time they are needed the most.” Ken reached over to rest a hand on Paul’s shoulder, prompting him to turn and look at him. “Nat would want you to be happy,” Ken spoke earnestly.
Paul gave his friend a lopsided smile as he considered all that he’d said. He could already see himself having a future. Although it scared him—a lot—maybe it was time he started accepting those visions; enough to start making them a reality. If his relationship with Nikki had the potential to head in that direction, he didn’t want to make the same mistakes as before.
“All right, enough talk about my love life or lack thereof. Let’s get back to fishing. I have a lot of making up to do. I’m going to show you what a pro fisherman can do,” he said, giving Ken a smile of challenge.
“Bring it on, but be prepared to lose to me because I’m a natural at this,” Ken countered with an equally daring grin.
The two men didn’t leave Puget Sound until the sky flashed orange and pink over the horizon as the sun retreated.
After dropping Ken off at home, Paul took a detour from going home and found himself on Trish’s front porch. He rang the doorbell.
Nikki answered on the third ring, and Paul’s heart beat wildly in his chest at the sight of her standing in the doorway, staring back at him in surprise and hesitancy.
“Hi. I went fishing, and I thought you might want some.” He spoke in a nervous rush as his heart continued to accelerate almost to the point of beating out of his chest. He held up the bag of fish for her to see.
“Thank you,” Nikki replied softly as she held the door. “I really appreciate it,” she continued, reaching for the bag and gesturing with her chin for him to follow her inside.He walked with her toward the kitchen and stood by the island as he watched her transfer the fish to a ziplock bag. After putting them in the freezer, she finally turned to face him, her eyes steeped with caution.
Paul opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His mind felt like it was in a time warp, and his thoughts were all over the place, making it difficult to form a coherent sentence.
“Paul?” Nikki stared at him in confusion and concern. “What’s wro—”
“I’m sorry!” he blurted, startling her. Nikki’s brows furrowed, and her arms came up to rest across her chest.
Paul cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m sorry about what I said the other day. I wasn’t thinking, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I promise. The truth is I lo…”
Nikki’s arms slowly fell to her sides, and her eyes widened as her lips parted.
“I-I, um…” Paul averted his eyes as his hand reached up to scratch the back of his neck nervously while he tried to collect his thoughts.“I love our friendship, Nikki, and I can’t imagine losing it…losing you,” he said, his gaze once more on her. “The last couple of days have been tormenting. I really do wish I could take back what I said.”
“Friends,” Nikki said softly, looking down at the floor as frown lines creased the corners of her mouth. “Okay, friends, it is…that’s what we are, friends, and I forgive you Paul,” she said, her eyes leveling with his once more and a thin smile on her lips.
Paul released a relieved breath, but his chest still felt queasy as he stared at her. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had said the wrong thing—again.
