Marie had a wistful expression on her face when she spoke, and her tone was soft and full of regret. “All the time. Being an actress was never easy, especially with a family that I hated being apart from. Your dad was fully on board in the beginning, but over time, it got hard, especially as you got older, and I had to miss out on things.”
Emma lowered herself onto the couch and linked her fingers together. “I know you did your best.”
Blaming her mom for her past shortcomings wouldn’t do either of them any good, not if she wanted them to move on.
This was as close to an apology as she would get.
Marie sat on the opposite side of the couch, pausing to tuck her skirt around her legs. “I do regret prioritizing my career as often as I did, especially because I missed out on so much, but I didn’t know any better. I was young and ambitious…”
“And blinded by the fame?”
Marie ran a hand over her face and offered Emma a rueful smile. “Yes, I can admit that I was. I hated the rift and distance that kept growing between us, but at the time, it felt inevitable, like the price I had to pay to be the actress I was.”
Emma had never heard her mother talk about her career in less than glowing terms.
After all this time, it was almost sad to see how much it had taken from her—and how little it had left in its wake.
All Marie had to show for it was a few dusty awards shoved to the back of a shelf in the living room.
Emma wondered why her mom was choosing to come clean now and whether it would’ve made a difference if she’d come to the realization sooner.
Would things have turned out differently for the Sullivans then?
Would they have been happier?
Marie sighed and linked her fingers together. “There was this actor who was coming up around the same time I was. The studio kept pushing us together. We had what they called chemistry, the IT factor, and I almost believed the act he put on.”
Emma’s stomach tightened. “Act?”
“He made me believe he was in love with me—that he would whisk me away to a glamorous life in Hollywood and that we would be happy together.”
“You…you actually considered it?”
Emma didn’t know how she felt about knowing her mother had come close to leaving them.
Too close, by the sounds of it.
She had chosen them in the end, but what would’ve happened if she hadn’t?
Would they have been better off without her, or she without them?
She didn’t like the thought either way and sent up a quick prayer, thankful for whatever had kept Marie with them.
Marie lowered her eyes and wrung her fingers together. “For a brief moment, I did. I thought it would be easier for everyone if I left—your dad would definitely give you a much better life—but I remember coming home one day and seeing you and your dad curled up in bed, reading a story together, and it just hit me. I couldn’t leave you guys. I could never leave you.”
Emma’s eyes filled with tears. “I wish you had told me all of this sooner.”
All those years living in her mom’s shadows, all that time wasted hoping Marie would finally see her for who she was, it all could’ve been avoided.
But her mother had kept it all bottled up the same old Sullivan way, and Emma couldn’t understand why.
Why hadn’t success been enough for her?
Why hadn’t the shine of a thousand spotlights made her happy?
And why had her family always been forced to compete?
Anger and resentment burned and rose within Emma, but she snapped her mouth shut and forced herself to count backward from ten. “Things could’ve been different for us.”
