“Trevor was their only son,” Emily said, her voice barely above a whisper. “And they took his death pretty hard, and I know a part of them blamed me for it.”
Amy’s stomach fell. “Why would they?”
“Trev and I got into an argument the night he died. I don’t even remember what it was about. It was something stupid that snowballed into something bigger, and the next thing I knew, we were screaming at each other. And I told him he should spend the night at his parents’ place. If I hadn’t insisted he spend the night somewhere else, he wouldn’t have been driving that night. And maybe he wouldn’t have…he wouldn’t have…”
Amy’s mind raced and spun as she struggled to absorb all of the new information. A part of her wanted to throw her arms around Emily and hold her until the pain went away. But the other part of her knew the reprieve would only be temporary.
Emily’s problems weren’t going away anytime soon, but Amy desperately wished there was more she could do for her friend than hold her hand and comfort her.
Emily was far more resilient than Amy had given her credit for.
Having to build herself up after the death of her husband while carrying the guilt and shame around couldn’t have been easy.
Amy gave Emily’s shoulders another squeeze, her throat still tight with emotion. “You can’t blame yourself, Em. It’s not like you knew that car was going to hit him. I’m sure if you had known, you wouldn’t have kicked him out.”
“If I could take it all back, I would,” Emily murmured, the words pouring out of her in a rush. “You have no idea how many times I’ve played it back in my head or how often I’ve wished I could’ve done things differently. I’ll never stop missing Trevor or wishing things hadn’t turned out the way they did.”
Amy swallowed past the lump in her throat. “As long as he knew that, that’s all that matters. As for his parents… I doubt they actually blame you. They’re probably just upset and looking for someone to blame. In situations like this, it’s easier to havea physical, tangible thing to take your anger out on, even if it’s a person who hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“They have every right to hold me accountable. I hold myself responsible, and it took going to support group to even acknowledge it.”
“Have you told anyone else?”
Emily shook her head, slowly at first, then faster and faster. “Oh, God, no. Can you imagine how the rest of the family would look at me if I did? Their strong and perfect little Emily… It would be just as bad as if I told them the truth about Trevor. I can’t bear the thought of disappointing them like that.”
Amy’s mind was still spinning as she sifted through her thoughts, choosing her words carefully. “I haven’t known your family that long, even though Lily has been telling me about everyone for a while. I feel like I know you all already… Anyway, my point is, from what I do know, I don’t think they’re going to judge or ostracize you. If anything, having all of this out in the open is going to be very therapeutic for you.”
Emily lifted tear-stained eyes up to Amy’s and searched her face. “Like walking away from Eric was therapeutic for you?”
Amy hesitated and then nodded. “In a way, it was. Lucas, Sylvie, and I are nowhere near where we should be, but we’re getting there.”
And she was going to keep putting in the effort to make sure they made it to the other side stronger and better than ever.
All she needed was time and a whole lot of patience.
Emily took both of Amy’s hands in hers and squeezed. “I really appreciate you saying all of those things. You’re so brave, Amy, and I think what you’re doing is amazing. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but seeing you do all of this… It’s been inspiring.”
A kernel of gratitude and pride blossomed in the center of Amy’s stomach. “It has?”
Her stomach was fluttering, and a flush was climbing up her neck and cheeks.
Emily nodded emphatically. “Oh, absolutely. You have no idea how encouraging it’s been to watch you go through all of this and still maintain a positive outlook.”
Amy smiled. “It helps to have a good support group.”
“I’m glad you walked into my bakery a few weeks ago,” Emily told her with a watery smile. “I really am.”
Behind them, the elevator doors pinged open, and two sets of footsteps moved across the tile floors. Amy withdrew her hands and twisted to see Eric stop outside of the door to the conference room with his lawyer by his side. His dark and fathomless eyes settled on Emily and tightened. A heartbeat later, he looked back at Amy and scoffed.
When he ducked inside, some of Amy’s earlier good mood dissipated.
But she wasn’t surprised.
Eric did have a habit of sucking up all of the oxygen and joy out of the room.
The longer she was away from him, the more she began to wonder how she survived any of it.
“You okay?”
