Had she and Eric ever really had that?
Or had she deluded herself into thinking he truly loved her?
Looking back, Amy was horrified to realize she didn’t know for sure. All of the fights, all of the late nights spent curled up into a ball, and all of the times she’d stood across from him, wondering what became of the man she loved, flashed through her mind.
She was left with more uncertainty than before.
A part of her knew all of the regret and sadness she felt wasn’t going to change the truth.
Her relationship with Eric had been built on her complacency, her willingness to devote herself entirely to him, and her desire to constantly turn the other cheek. Without any of it, their marriage never would’ve survived.
The realization left a heavy feeling in the center of her stomach.
William’s expression cleared, and he twisted his head to look at her. “I did. What about you?”
Amy glanced away and pretended to be interested in the floor beneath her feet while she gathered her thoughts. “Things weren’t always bad with Eric. I do remember thinking how handsome and magnetic he was when I first met him. No one in the world could make me laugh like he did.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw William’s eyes tighten and his lips turn down. “I think it’s sad what we let die while we’re still alive.”
Amy straightened her back and looked over at him. “What do you mean?”
“Sometimes, people get so hung up on details and things they think matter that they let the people in their lives slip through the cracks. I think that’s one of the saddest things in the world.”
Amy paused, turning his words over and over in her head. She was surprised to realize they made something stir withinher, an unfamiliar mixture of yearning and sadness for what never was.
“I agree. I also think, one of the hardest parts of losing someone you love is realizing you’ve lost a little of yourself too. It’s something you can’t ever get back, and I’ve never seen anyone talk about it, either.”
Almost as if losing who you were was second to the grief.
William nodded, his expression turning thoughtful again. “I understand. Grief is tricky. It’s like a living, breathing thing that’s constantly changing and growing.”
“I—”
“Hey.” Emily emerged in front of them, hair plastered to her forehead and a stain on the front of her shirt peeking out from underneath her sweater. “I’m sorry I’m late. I fell asleep at the office while I was looking at paperwork.”
Amy blinked and offered William an apologetic smile. “Don’t worry about it. Em, you remember William, right?”
Amy held her hand out and gave William a firm handshake. “Jack’s dad. How are you?”
William shrugged and took a sip of his drink. “Can’t complain, you?”
“Same.” Emily dropped his hand and swung her gaze over to Amy, still looking sheepish and apologetic. “You want to get a drink afterward? I’ve had such a long day.”
Amy offered her a small smile. “I’d love to.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Ireally can make myself scarce for a few hours. I don’t mind.”
Ashley was elbow-deep in pizza dough and was using another hand to baste the chicken with a thick and creamy red sauce. She had a smattering of flour on her nose and a large brown stain on the front of her apron, but she couldn’t have looked happier.
It wasn’t something Amy was used to seeing because having people over always threw her for a loop.
By now, Eric would’ve found a way to upset her.
“Nonsense. You’re family, and you’re staying for the family gathering,” Ashley replied with a pointed look. “You can set up the foldable tables in the backyard, and you’ll find a few tablecloths in the compartment under the dining room table.”
“Which ones should I use?”
