Amy sighed as Lily looped her arm through hers. “I don’t know what there is to tell. They aren’t happy about the divorce.”
“It’s okay for them not to be.”
Together, the two of them stepped out of the changing rooms and were taken into a room with rows of sinks attached to comfortable-looking leather chairs. Lily sat down first, and a woman immediately materialized to wash her hair. After a brief pause, Amy sat down next to her, and a petite dark-haired woman appeared with a set of towels and a bowl for Amy’s feet.
“I know, but now they’re making me question whether I’ve given it any thought,” Amy responded, sighing when the woman began to scrub the soles of her cracked feet. “I didn’t want to give myself a chance to change my mind.”
“Because you were afraid you’d talk yourself out of it?”
“Exactly, and I told them that…”
“I know Lucas and Sylvie can be a little caught up in their own worlds, but they mean well.” Lily had her eyes squeezedshut and her head tilted back while a woman massaged her scalp. “I’m sure it’ll be easier to talk to them once they’ve had a chance to process it.”
Amy tried to relax, to enjoy the feeling of being pampered, but she couldn’t.
She kept wondering what would happen if they couldn’t make their peace with things.
What happened to their relationship if neither Lucas nor Sylvie understood?
Was she lying to herself to try and give them better odds?
“I can feel how loud your thoughts are,” Lily teased. “I know none of this is easy for you, but you have to try and focus on what you can control.”
Amy ran a hand over her face. “I never thought I’d be starting over at my age. I really didn’t. I thought I’d made my peace with everything.”
Lily leaned forward and twisted so she was looking at Amy directly. “I’m sorry.”
Amy’s brows furrow together. “What are you apologizing for? You didn’t do anything.”
Lily shook her head. “I sent you those letters, and I kept encouraging you to leave… I didn’t mean to disrupt your life.”
Amy took both of Lily’s hands in hers and squeezed. “You didn’t disrupt anything. You helped me open my eyes to how miserable I was. Change is hard, sure, but so is standing still.”
Lily nodded.
“The support group Emily recommended has really been helping,” Amy continued with a smile. “I wasn’t sure about it at first, but it helps to know I’m not the only one struggling.”
Lily offered her a gentle smile. “I’m sure. And divorce is hard, but it isn’t the worst thing in the world.”
Amy gave Lily’s hands another squeeze before releasing them. “I know.”
“You’re going to get through this,” Lily continued after a brief pause. “I know it might not seem like it now, but you will.”
Amy held Lily’s gaze as she tilted her head back and allowed warm water to seep through her scalp. A woman began to wash and lather, and the smell of citrus and honey soon filled the air.
For the rest of their day together, Amy was distracted, turning Lily’s words over and over in her head.
On the one hand, she knew if she went back, there would be no leaving.
Not ever again.
Having been duped once, Amy doubted Eric would leave something like that up to chance, and short of locking her up in a room and throwing away the key, she knew he’d do whatever he needed to do to keep her from leaving.
On the other hand, going back also meant getting her children back—wholly and completely. Because they were struggling to understand her actions now, a part of her wondered if she held the answers to all of their problems.
Including keeping her good name from being tainted.
After years together, Amy wanted to believe a peace offering would soothe Eric, but she knew better than to hope. Still, the tiny seed of doubt inside of her blossomed and grew, and it remained until Lily walked her back to Aunt Ashley’s house, got into her car, and drove off.
