“Mom, I get your concern, I do, and I am sorry, but I am doing this for me because it makes me happy,” Erin reasoned.
“Are you sure you’re not doing it because you miss Brian?” Cora returned.
Erin blinked in surprise before lowering her lashes and pursing her lips.
“Why don’t you call him?” Cora encouraged.
“I can’t,” she responded in a strained whisper.
“Why?”
Erin turned to look at her mother, her regret swimming in their blue depths. “I hurt him, Mom. Over and over again. He deserves much better than what I can give him.” Her fingers dug into the flesh of her palm as she turned her gaze to look out at the harbor. A few sailboats were visible through the border of evergreens.
“Erin,” her mother said to get her attention.
She turned to face Cora, who was staring at her with understanding.
“I know that your condition has affected most of the choices you’ve made concerning your relationship with Brian, but sweetie, if I know nothing else, I know that man loves you unconditionally. That’s all that matters.” Cora reached up and cupped Erin’s cheek in her palm before dragging it lower to hold her chin. “That’s all that should matter to you,” she repeated, tilting her head down so that their eyes connected. “Can you do that, or at least try?”
Erin gave her mother a small appreciative smile as she tilted her head in the affirmative. “I’ll try,” she promised.
Cora’s lips tipped up in a grin. “There’s one more thing that we need to talk about,” she started.
Erin noted her mother’s hesitant look before she turned her head.
“It’s about your father.”
At the mention of Joel, Erin’s back went straight as her shoulders squared up with tension. Her lips shrunk until they were nothing more than a line on her face.
Cora released a lengthened sigh, then continued. “You need to talk to him and also forgive him.”
Erin shook her head no.
“Erin, it’s not healthy to harbor resentment toward your father,” Cora implored. “Despite what he did, he’s your father, and he loves you,” she encouraged. “It’s time for your wounds to heal.”
Erin’s shoulders sagged as she released a defeated breath. She knew her mother was right— they were all right. She needed to forgive her father, but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t let go of the anger.
“I’ll think about it,” she conceded again. “I’m gonna head inside.”
“Okay, sweetie,” Cora accepted.
Erin went straight to her room and walked the length of it with her arms folded over her chest and her head bowed in contemplation. She knew all that her mother had said was true. She just couldn’t get out of her head to call Brian and apologize or talk to her father and forgive him. Her mind became a cloudy mess of uncertainties. Walking over to her chest of drawers, she grabbed a pair of black leggings, a gray cut-off T-shirt, and a long-sleeved flannel shirt. After changing into them, she slipped into her hiking boots, then secured a fanny pack at her waist.
I’m going for a hike,” she informed Cora, whom she found in the kitchen kneading dough.
She turned around to look at Erin, concern written on her face. “Where?” she asked.
“Ebey’s Landing. I’m taking the Bluff Trail,” she informed her mother.
“Please be careful,” Cora stressed.
“I will,” Erin promised, heading for the pantry. She opened the door and reached for a nature bar, and packed it into the fanny pack.
“Did you bring your cell?”
Erin turned to see her mother looking at her with the same concerned look from before.
“No, I didn’t. I just need some uninterrupted time to think,” she explained. “Mom, relax. Everything’ll be fine,” she assured her mother, whose lips were now folded in on each other.
