She left the assistant in charge and went for a stroll. She found herself headed for the gazebo after a while. As she neared the octagonal wooden structure, she realized that someone was already there. A few seconds later, she saw that it was Erin. The young woman had her head down as her light blond hair formed a curtain around her, blocking her face.Marg noted that she had a pencil in her hand that moved swiftly across the white page of what looked like a sketchpad.
“Hi, Erin,” Marg greeted, breaking her concentration.
Erin looked up from under her lashes. “Hi, Marg,” she greeted back, straightening up.
“Whatcha doing?” Marg asked, walking up to her.
“Trying to sketch a design that’s in my head,” Erin replied.
“I take it’s not going as planned,” she observed.
“Nope,” Erin replied, popping thePat the end of the word. “I haven’t been able to get my thoughts out on paper for almost two weeks now, or at least they’re not as polished as my previous sketches.” She sighed.
“Can I see?” Marg asked, holding out her hand. Noticing the young woman’s hesitancy, she jumped in to say, “You don’t have to let me see them if you don’t want to,” she assured her.
“It’s fine,” Erin returned with a small uncertain smile as they handed the sketchpad to Marg.
Marg skipped through the book, her brows jogging up to her forehead in surprise at how talented Erin was.
“These are really good,” she complimented. “You have a natural talent.” She looked up from the page to Erin, who looked anxious. She turned her attention to the book once more.
“That’s what everyone keeps saying.” Erin released a heavy breath.
“And you don’t believe it?” she asked.
Erin’s shoulders lifted in a quick shrug.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. These are some top-notch designs,” Marg countered. “May I?” She gestured to the space beside Erin.
Erin nodded, and Marg sat.
“It’s easy to doubt yourself and believe that you’re not good enough. Believe me, I’ve been there, but you can’t let the negative thoughts that come into your mind or what some hurtful people say to you dictate what you do. You’re a strong and confident young woman, Erin. You should own it proudly,” she encouraged.
“I don’t know what I am anymore,” Erin responded. Her lips folded in on each other as she stared at her hands in her lap as she clenched and unclenched her fingers.
“Why do you think that?” Marg asked.
Erin’s chin touched her chest. “I’m not sure if you know this, but a year ago, I found out I can’t have children.” Her head swiveled to look at Marg.
“I didn’t know. I am so sorry,” Marg replied, noting the vulnerability displayed by the young woman.
Erin’s gaze went back to her lap. “I have felt so lost ever since. The ability to have a child is the most human thing in the world, proof that I’m whole, but I’m not.” She swallowed to clear the lump that had formed in her throat.
“I don’t know if you knew this, but I couldn’t have children either,” Marg confessed.
Erin’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Polycystic ovary syndrome. When I first found out, I was so devastated. I felt inadequate, too, and the people that I had around me, namely my ex, didn’t make it easy on me. But you know what?”
“What?” Erin asked, fully invested in the story.
“I realized that I could live a fulfilling life even though I couldn’t have children, and so I separated myself from the abuse I was enduring, and I came here to start over. It was the best decision I ever made.” Marg beamed warmly as she reminisced on her life’s journey.
“I don’t mean to cause you offense, but from my point of view, that sounds like settling for a subpar existence,” Erin reasoned.
“None taken,” Marg assured her with a smile. “However, it all depends on how you choose to look at the situation. You can either look at the glass as half empty or as half full. Plus, you have a lot more options available to you than I had back then. Just don’t cut yourself off from the people who love you and want to be there for you. It can be a lonely road, and it only prevents you from getting what you should have from the beginning.”
“Thanks, Marg,” Erin said with an appreciative grin.
