Jules got to her feet and peeled off her dress.
Erin gave her a once over before reiterating, “You look great.”
Jules gave her an appreciative smile.
“Come’n,” Erin instructed, holding out her hand for her sister to take. Jules placed her hand in hers, and the two walked to the side of the boat, then descended the ladder leading to the water.
The cool ocean water was a welcome treat as she immersed her body, kicking her legs to keep afloat. She flipped onto her back, arms and legs relaxed, as she allowed the water to manipulate her body, taking it where it chose. Sensing her sister’s presence, she switched position again, treading the water. Jules was on her back, eyes closed. Erin simpered as a plan formed in her head. She dove into the water and swam under Jules. Reaching up with her hands, she latched onto Jules’s sides and tickled her. Jules instantly righted herself, but Erin’s hands remained on her sides as she came up for air to Jules’s laughs.
“Cut it out, Erin,” she called through her laughter.
“What’s the password?” Erin grinned, her fingers stilling for a bit.
“I’m not saying that,” Jules refused before bursting into another fit of laughter as Erin resumed tickling her.
“Okay. Okay,” Jules relented. “Erin is my number one superhero in the whole wide world, and I will always be loyal to her.”
Erin released her sides with a satisfied smile. “I can’t believe, after all these years, this still works.”
“You got lucky,” Jules downplayed.
“I did,” she replied with a nod and a soft look. It was nice hearing her sister say the words because it reminded her of simpler times when she was a hero to her sister and her sister was someone she would protect at all costs. But a lot had changed since Joel’s infidelity. The words didn’t ring as true as they had been when they were children.
The two swam back to the boat, applied suntan lotion to their skin, and drifted.
“Can you get my back?” Jules asked, holding out the tube to Erin.
“Sure,” Erin said, taking the tube from her. She sat behind her on the deck and began rubbing on the lotion. “I need you to know that I really wish I had been here to help you through everything you were going through. I was selfish, but you deserved so much more than that, and for that, I am sorry.”
Jules turned to her. “I’ve already forgiven you, Erin,” she spoke with feeling. “Besides, I can’t always expect you to be there to help clean up my mess. You have your own life, and you’re going through your own crisis. I wish I could have been there for you like you’ve always been there for me.”
Erin beamed as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Sis.” Jules reached over to squeeze her hand lovingly.
They lay down to soak up the afternoon sun.
“So, what’s happening with you and Brian? Are you guys ever going to get back together?” Jules asked after some time.
At the mention of her ex, Erin’s heart sped up as her chest tightened. She had been trying so hard not to think about him and all that she was losing.
“No. We’re not getting back together,” she informed her sister. “He’s better off without me.” She placed her forearm over her face blocking more than just the light shining down on her. Feeling a shadow over her, she moved her hand away from her left eye to peer up at Jules’s concerned face.
“What do you mean by that?”
Erin raised herself up into a sitting position and pulled her knees up to her chest before hugging them. She stared over the deck at the waves rocking the boat. “I don’t think I can offer him what he needs, and that’s not…” she swallowed against the lump in her throat. “That’s not fair to him,” she finished.
“Erin, Brian loves you, and I know you love him. Why isn’t that enough?” Jules asked.
Erin looked over at her sister with sadness in the depths of her light blue eyes, a small, melancholic smile on her lips. “Sometimes love isn’t enough,” she whispered. Feeling wetness on her cheek, she reached up to wipe away the tears she hadn’t realized were falling. She cocked her chin back to the ocean, wishing her life was a mirror of the clear and serene emerald-colored waters below. But even she knew that was a facade because, at any given moment, the tide could change, giving rise to a devastating storm.
She felt her sister’s arms wrap around her shoulders, and for that one moment, she gave in to the feeling of needing her to rescue her this time.
ChapterThirteen
Erin headed for the bathroom the minute she got back to the house, while Jules left with Noah, who had come to take her to lunch. Stripping out of her dress and bathing suit, she stepped under the scalding water of the shower, allowing it to run through her hair and down her shoulders. She placed her palms against the tiles and rested her head between them as her tears mingled with the hot water.
She couldn’t admit it to Jules. She couldn’t admit it to anyone, but alone in the shower, as the high pulsing water drowned her sobs, she could admit it to herself. She missed Brian. She more than missed him— she was aching for him. She wished there was some way that they could be together, but with her history, it was better to let him go. As she’d told Jules, he needed someone that could give him everything that she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t stand in the way of that. He deserved a happy ending and children— something she would never be able to give him.
