Prologue
One year ago
“I... I don’t understand. What does that mean?” Erin stared at the woman across from her.
The woman sighed deeply before leaning forward and clasping her hands on the desk. Her pursed lips and remorseful brown eyes sent a shiver down Erin’s spine that had nothing to do with the air conditioning.
“When ovaries stop producing eggs normally before the age of forty, it is referred to as primary ovarian insufficiency. When this occurs, your ovaries stop releasing eggs regularly or have abnormally low levels of the hormone estrogen, and it primarily leads to infertility. I am so sorry, Erin. I know this isn’t easy to digest, but in today’s society, you have many options available.”
“Are you saying I can’t have my own baby?” Erin asked, anchoring her blue gaze on the woman. She gripped her thighs tightly, her fingernails fighting her cotton skirt to make contact with her skin.
“That’s right,” her doctor confirmed as her lips drew into a regretful line. “No treatment has been able to restore fertility.” She finished driving the nail more profoundly into the coffin her first round of words had initiated.
Erin collapsed against the chair. Her eyes drew shut on the tears that pooled at the corners, and her lips quivered.
“I know it’s difficult news to swallow, but it becomes bearable with treatment of estrogen deficiency and support,” the doctor advised.
Erin’s head bobbed with a few short nods. “How could this have happened?” A sob escaped her lips. She slowly righted herself in the chair and set her blurry vision on the woman. “What did I do wrong, Dr. Stabler? I just came here because I was worried about my irregularities, and now you’re telling me I can’t have children. I… must have done something wrong.” Her voice cracked as the tears flowed down her cheeks and splashed her skirt.
Dr. Stabler pushed out of her chair and rounded the desk. Placing a hand on Erin’s shoulder, she leaned down until they were at eye level. “You did nothing wrong,” she assured Erin, her tone soft and comforting. “This is a biological phenomenon that we’re working hard to find a way to reverse. It could have happened to anyone.”
“But it happened to me.” Erin sighed.
“It did,” Dr. Stabler agreed. “But this is not the end of your life, and I don’t want you thinking that way.” She straightened up and pulled her white coat closer around her frame as she folded her arms across her chest. “I have the number for someone I believe will help you.” She handed Erin a card.
Erin stared at the card for a minute before she raised determined blue eyes to the woman. “I know you’re trying to help me, Dr. Stabler, but I’m not seeing a shrink,” she said with finality.
“Erin—”
Erin put her hand up, halting the woman’s words. “I have to go.” She rose to her feet and grabbed her handbag off the small sofa in the corner of the room. “I’ll see you, Dr. Stabler.” She turned the doorknob and yanked the door open, but before she could step through it, the doctor’s words stopped her in her tracks.
“You need to tell your boyfriend and do it soon.”
She turned to the woman, her lips set in a grim line. “I’ll tell him,” she said through clenched teeth.
Dr. Stabler looked at her for a long time, her gaze assessing. Erin stared right back with determination. Finally, the woman averted her eyes, and her shoulders slightly deflated.
“I’m only trying to help you, Erin.”
At this, Erin’s own shoulders dropped, and she released another tired sigh. “I know,” she said simply. “I have to go.” She turned and left the office.
Exiting the building, Erin beelined for her car and slumped against it as hot tears stained her cheeks. It felt as if her whole life was crumbling around her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. First, she found out her father had cheated on her mother for God knows how long and with their housekeeper, and they were now getting a divorce. Then she was looked over for the job at the ad agency after being told she was the best intern they’d had in years— she guessed being the boss’s niece pulled more weight than being the “best.” And now she found out she couldn’t have children, at least not naturally. Maybe it was all a sign.
The phone vibrating in her bag interrupted her thoughts. She brought the small device out, and her heart hammered when she saw the caller. She used her palms to wipe away the tears as she straightened up.
“Hey,” she answered, her tone as light as she could muster. She closed her eyes as she listened. “I’m fine. Dr. Stabler says everything’s fine.” She gulped and clutched the strap of her bag tightly, her knuckles turning white.
“I said I’m fine, Brian. I’m just a little hoarse. It’s no big deal…”
She listened to Brian on the other end before replying once more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Erin sighed, rubbing the tension from her forehead.“I’m stopping by the supermarket to pick up a few things. I’ll see you at home in a little bit.”
After disconnecting the call, Erin drew in a deep breath and slowly released it. Sliding into her car, she drove out of the parking lot and away from the hospital. Her grumbling tummy reminded her that she hadn’t eaten in the morning, and it was late afternoon.
After ten minutes of traveling along Central Ave., she spotted a small restaurant a few feet ahead, just after the stoplight. Erin pulled off the main road and parked her car in one of the available spaces. Then, she walked up the few steps that led directly to the entrance. As soon as she stepped into the establishment, she felt as if she’d been transported to the retro fifties— a time of floral wallpaper, checkered floors, jukeboxes, and vinyl records.
Guests were seated on the long lunch counter's high stools, munching away on the food before them, some conversing. A waitress who looked to be in her twenties stood behind the counter, pouring water from a pitcher. She suddenly burst into laughter because of the gentleman directly across from her, sporting a goofy grin. A few patrons looked in their direction, but the two seemed oblivious to the stares.
Erin averted her gaze to take in the rest of the establishment. Red leatherette booths were parked along the other side of the room facing the parking lot, and on the tables stood salt and pepper shakers and what looked like Tabasco sauce. Quite a few of the booths were occupied already. She headed for the empty booth in the back and sat. Then, noticing the menu on the table, she took it up to peruse.
