“I have loved you since we were kids. No matter what we faced, you were always the best thing that ever happened to me, and I loved you through every up and down. I loved you to my death because I always remember that little girl with blond pigtails who stood up for me when the bully took away my teddy. I also remember how fiercely you defended me all the way through elementary and high school, even to your parents when they thought I wasn’t good for you. You were the apple of my eye, Tessa, but it’s time for you to let me go.”
“No, no, don’t say that, Don. I love you so much. I can’t lose you,” she cried desperately.
“It is time, Tessa. You need to let me go,” he repeated.
Tessa watched helplessly as he started floating away from her.
“I want you to think about picking up that hobby you loved when you were younger. You are free to dream again, Tessa, and don’t give up on love. I want you to live a full and happy life even though I’m no longer here with you.”
“I love you, Don.”
“I love you, Tessa.”
She watched him fade from sight.
Tessa woke up feeling different. There was a sense of loss knowing that Don would no longer come to her in her dreams as he’d always done, but also knowing that this was a new chapter, one where she had the freedom to live life the way she’d always wanted to.
After taking a shower, she grabbed a sandwich from the batch Diane had brought over when she came to tell her that the wedding was off. She bit into the cold sandwich before taking a sip of the dark roast she’d prepared. She then made her way to the garage. Clearing a few boxes out of her way, she took down the pottery wheel, the jars of clay, and the toolset. Looking over the invoice her husband had left in the top drawer of the bedside table, she made sure she’d taken down everything. He’d bought them the week before he died.
She removed the overalls from one of the boxes in the corner and pulled them over her shorts and T-shirt. She placed the wheel in the middle of the room and set a stool before it. She then moved to the flat table in the corner and placed it beside the other items.
“All right. Let’s see if I still got this.” Removing a sample of the clay, she placed it on the table and began wedging it, then transferred it to the wheel for throwing. Centering the clay, she made an impression in the middle, then started the wheel and brought up the walls. She used the wet cloth to help shape the bowl. She spent the next two hours at the wheel. When she took it off the wheel, it was a fully formed vase with a pot belly and narrow neck. The finish was smooth. She smiled appreciatively at her work and placed it on the metal organizer in the corner. She would leave it there for the rest of the day and probably fire it in her oven.
She returned inside and made it just in time to hear her phone ringing. A smile lit her face when she saw that it was Diane. “Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Mom. You sound happy,” she observed.
“That’s because I am,” she replied. “I just returned to a hobby I haven’t practiced since you were a baby, and it was great.”
“Oh really? You have hobbies?” Diane asked jokingly.
“If you must know, I was a good potter back in the day. Your father bought me all the things I needed just before his death, and I have now decided to use them,” she explained.
“That’s great, Mom. I’m happy for you. You deserve to do things that make you happy.”
Tessa smiled appreciatively.
“Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts,” Diane expressed after a short pause.
Tessa sighed. “I know, sweetie. So do I. But I’m also learning to be happy for the time we spent together, the memories we made, and to make new ones with those who are still here.”
“That’s true. Speaking of family, have you heard from Jake?”
Tessa sighed again. “Not since recently. No.”
“I’m worried about him, Mom,” Diane said, her voice full of concern.
“I am, too,” Tessa revealed. “All we can do now is keep calling and letting him know that we love him and that he still has a home here.”
“Yeah. I just wish he would talk to us because I know he hasn’t dealt with the hurt from Dad’s death.”
“He will, Diane. We each took our time to get to the point where we could grieve for him. Now it’s Jake’s turn.”
“You’re right.”
Tessa nodded even though her daughter couldn’t see.
“I wondered if Bev and her grandson Joshua could attend the barbecue. I would really like her to meet Grandma. I think they would hit it off.”
