“Yeah, I did. Kerry and I fought a bit, but we made up, and everything was great after that,” Tessa replied. Leaning against the closed bathroom door with her hands folded over the long robe she wore, she watched the man by the sink brushing his teeth while he held her gaze in the mirror above. She couldn’t help the warm smile that painted her lips or the butterflies dancing in her chest as he winked and smirked at her.
“I’m happy you enjoyed yourself. You know I’m always happy when you get time to have fun.”
“I wish you could have been there,” she said, leaving her post by the door and walking up behind him. She rested her head on his back and breathed out in contentment. Moments like these had always been her favorite when they could block out everything else and just be them. It had been so long since they’d had a moment like this.
“Have you met anyone new since I’ve been gone?” he asked, his back vibrating against her cheek as he spoke.
Her brow furrowed when his words finally registered. “What do you mean since you’ve been gone?”
There was a long pause before he spoke again. “You know what I mean, Tessa.”
She thought hard about it. Her head remained glued to his back, fear gripping her for something she wasn’t quite sure about. Her thoughts suddenly flicked to the gray-eyed man she’d briefly spoken with by the bar before speeding out with her sister.
“There’s a new head of trauma at the hospital, and I ran into him tonight,” she spoke softly.
“Hmm,” he breathed out.
“What?” she asked, slowly lifting her head from his back and craning her neck until their eyes met again in the mirror. The cold, accusatory glare that met her caused her to draw in a breath of surprise as the fear she felt doubled and gripped her heart tightly.
“Do you like him?” he asked, holding her gaze.
“What? No…Of course not,” she hurried out while shaking her head vigorously.
“Are you ready to move on from me?”
“Don!” she bellowed, her voice cracking with anguish. “Of course not. I love you. It will always only be you. No one else.” In a desperate attempt to make him understand her undying devotion to him, she turned him to face her before throwing her arms around his rigid posture and burying her face in his chest. “I love you, Don, with all of my heart.”
“Then why did you let me die?”
“I tried to save you. I did, but there was nothing more I could do,” she cried into his chest. “There was nothing more I could do…”
“You should have tried harder,” he replied sternly as he dislodged from her and walked toward the bathroom door.
Tessa turned and watched him, blurred by the tears streaming down her face.
“You know Diane and Jake will never forgive you, right? Because you let me die.”
“No, please don’t say that,” she pleaded, walking toward him. But the closer she got to the bathroom door, the farther away he seemed to be until he started to fade from view. “Please don’t go.” She reached out in a desperate attempt to hold on to him, but all she felt through her fingers was air. “Don!” she cried as he disappeared from her sight.
Tessa’s eyes shot open as a strangled sound left her lips. Disoriented and with a pounding headache, she tried to get her bearings. Her eyes blinked a few times to get accustomed to the almost dark room. It was evident she was in her bedroom, and it finally clicked that she had been dreaming about her dead husband, one that felt so real that she reached up to wipe away the moisture on her cheeks. She had been crying. Sliding out of bed, she made her way to the bathroom to get some painkillers. She put them toward the back of her throat before swallowing some water to get them moving freely. She lifted her head and stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, wincing at the sight. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her skin looked pallid. After splashing some water on her face, she returned to the bedroom, but after more than twenty minutes of tossing and turning, she made her way downstairs.
Tessa found herself in the living room, sorting through the homemade videos. Don had recorded most of them because he hadn’t wanted her to feel left out of their children’s lives so he had captured everything on film. A smile graced her lips. Her husband had been so in tune with her feelings back then.
After popping one of the videos of Diane and Jake taking part in the Christmas play back in elementary school, she sat against the cushions on the sofa and pressed play. A range of emotions went through her as she watched them. One moment, she was laughing, and the next, she was crying; then, she was anxious. The video then switched to a seven-year-old Diane and a five-year-old Jake standing before the camera in their Christmas pj’s.
“Remember what we practiced?” Don asked from behind the camera.
“I remember all my lines, Dad.” Jake nodded eagerly.
Tessa chuckled.
“Hi, Mom.” Diane waved to the camera.
“Hi, Mom,” Jake repeated.
“We know you can’t be with us tonight because you have an important job to do, like Santa, but we just want you to know that we love you very much.” Diane smiled.
“And we baked cookies for you and Santa. They’re on the coffee table and milk for when you get home,” Jake said with a triumphant smile.
