Prologue
Two Years Ago
“How could you do this, Don? We needed that extra income to be okay.” Tessa’s hands balled into fists at her sides, and she glowered at her husband.
Don sighed as he unraveled the tie around his neck before throwing it on the bed. “I said I would give it a try for a while, and I did. It just wasn’t working out.”
“You spent a whole year at that place!” Tessa threw her hands in the air as disbelief spread across her face.
Don released a heavy sigh. “Tessa, listen to me. If I had continued at McLennon and Sons, I would have been miserable because I’d be just another faceless cog in the machine with no real sense of purpose. That's not something I'm capable of doing. I refuse to be like them.” His eyes burned with determination.
Tessa’s mouth set in a grim line as she hit him with a fierce look. “Are you even listening to yourself right now?” she asked. “This was supposed to be a partnership, Don.” She continued pointing from herself to him.
“It still is,” he rushed to say. His hands traveled over his face before his fingers raked through his dark-brown hair. “Tessa, I didn’t do this to hurt you, but going to that place day after day made me feel like I was betraying everything I believed in, and I just couldn’t do it anymore…I couldn’t lose myself in that job— my real authentic self,” he stressed, eyes pleading for understanding as he gazed at her.
Tessa stared at him with incredulity. “Do you even realize how selfish you sound right now? Diane and Jake are both in college, we have a mortgage to pay off, and don’t get me started on the other bills that come every month like clockwork.” Her voice rose with each word as her frustration bubbled over. “How will your authentic self help pay for all of this?” She threw her arms wide as her eyes cut from him and flitted around the room. Her gaze finally steadied as it fixed on a spot on the wall above the bed, and her lips turned down. “I really thought you were finally taking things seriously, that the weight of responsibilities wouldn’t rest solely on my shoulders anymore, but clearly, I was wrong.” Her chin dropped while her head gently swung from side to side, and her eyes fluttered shut as disappointment settled in her chest.
“Tessa, look at me,” Don implored, stepping closer to her.
Releasing a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes, and her head came up slowly until she looked at her husband. Angst swam in his emerald-green gaze before it transformed into uncertainty. He slowly unfurled his lips, and his palms flipped up before he spoke. “I gave up my dreams to raise our children. I did that because I loved you so much, and I knew how much it meant for you to get your career started. I don’t see that as being nothing.”
“That makes only one of us,” Tessa huffed, her arms coming up to fold across her chest.
Tessa quickly averted her eyes at Don's hurt expression while guilt surged through her like an electric charge. She hadn't intended for those words to roll off her tongue, but her wrath and fury had long since prevailed over her ability to think logically. Her eyes studied the patterns of the rug beneath her feet as the silence became deafening. When nearly a minute had passed without either of them saying anything, she finally lifted her eyes to meet his once more.
“I keep thinking about how our lives turned out…all the struggles we’ve faced…the choices we’ve had to make. I don’t know. Maybe Dad was right all along. Maybe we got married too young and didn’t think about how our lives would fit together.” Her eyes clouded with doubt, and her lips drew in on each other. “Maybe we made a mistake,” she repeated in a whisper.
Don’s head shook rapidly. “I don’t regret marrying you, Tessa. I will never regret that,” he said fiercely. His eyes fixed with determination as he continued. “Marrying you was the best decision of my life. Our children, the life we’ve shared…I wouldn’t change anything.”
Tessa’s heart hammered in her chest at his words. If it had been under different circumstances, there was no doubt she would have been wrapped up in his arms now, but the suddenness of his decision to quit his job was still heavy on her mind. She stood her ground.
“I quit my job for us. I want to be here for you because I know how important your career is to you. I didn’t want you to give up something you’ve worked so hard to accomplish. But you work hard, and I believe you need a haven to come home to because it gets rough. I was doing this for you.”
Tessa’s eyes fluttered shut, and her shoulders rose to her chin before falling to their original position as she released a heavy sigh. “You said you did this for me, but I’m finding it hard to believe that you had anyone else in mind besides yourself when you made this decision.”
Don took a step forward. “Tessa—”
Tessa raised her hand, halting his words and approach. “It’s been a long day. I’ve been on my feet for sixteen hours, and I’m tired. Right now, I just need to take a shower and get some shut-eye.”
Don nodded and stepped back. “Okay.”
Without another word, Tessa turned and headed for the master bath. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, she sagged against the sturdy frame, balled her fist, and stuffed it into her mouth as she released a silent scream. Her body slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor. She pulled her legs toward her chest and hugged them with her arms to keep them in place. She rested her cheek on her knees. When the fierce pounding against her temple finally subsided, she slowly rose to her feet and removed her scrubs. Turning on the faucet, she stepped under the spraying warm water. Her palms flattened against the tiled wall as she allowed the water to run over her head, plastering the blond strands to her face. Hot tears mingled with the droplets running down her face.
When her skin began to prune, she turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. After wrapping a towel around her wet body and twisting one over her hair, she walked out of the bathroom. Don wasn’t in the room, but as soon as she donned her nightgown, he walked through the door looking fresh and dressed in pajama bottoms and a white shirt. He stepped close to her on his way to their bed as she sat by the vanity drying her hair, but her focus remained on her reflection.
When she finally dragged herself to the bed, Don was already under the covers, his hands under his head as he stared at the ceiling. Without a word, Tessa slipped under the covers and turned her back to him. The bed rocked as he shifted. She could feel his eyes boring into the nape of her neck, and the hairs stood up. Tiny bumps pricked her skin as she waited for him to say something. After a few minutes, she heard him sigh as he shifted his position and turned his back to her. Silent tears ran down her cheeks before falling from her chin to wet the pillow under her head. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed unmoving, her ears clogged by the deafening silence, but the next thing she knew was that the alarm had gone off, and Don hadn’t woken up to turn it off like he normally did. With a yawn of reluctance, she reached over to the bedside table and silenced the noise. She then pulled the covers down and rose on her elbows. She looked over at her husband, who was still fast asleep. With a shake of her head and another heavy sigh, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and slowly rose to her feet, stretching as she did.
She made her way to the bathroom to prepare for her day ahead. As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, her lips turned down into a frown. The young woman with brilliant blue eyes, long, flowing hair the color of wheat, and a smile that could rival the sun was no longer there. That young woman who was blissfully happy and very much in love with her husband had disappeared over the years as the passion between them diminished, and the weight of the real world began to crush them.
A sad smile crossed her lips as the crow’s feet at the sides of her eyes crinkled profoundly. She remembered how hard her husband worked to make sure that she and the children were cared for. She knew he would bend over backward to make her happy. That was the only reason he had agreed to take a job outside the home in the first place. He’d given up so much for her. Guilt steamrolled her. Instead of heading into the shower, she stepped back into the bedroom. She needed to talk to her husband, to tell him how sorry she was for what she’d said to him. He had to know she would support his dreams no matter what.
“Don,” she called softly as she got onto the bed and knelt over him. “Don,” she called once more when he didn’t stir. Knowing he was a light sleeper, she creased her brows in a frown when he still hadn’t responded. “Don, wake up. I need to talk to you.” She leaned closer to him as she rested her hand on his shoulder and gently shook him. Still nothing.
“Don?” she called, more confused than ever. “Honey, please wake up.” She stepped over his body to come face-to-face with him and placed her hand on his cheek. Her eyes became saucers when the coldness of his skin penetrated her palm.
“Don?” she called more frantically, her next hand coming up to capture his face between her palms. “Baby, please wake up.” She spoke urgently, shaking his face. Don didn’t move an inch, and she noticed then that his chest wasn’t moving.
“No, no, no, Don, please don’t do this to me!” She pushed him on his back and pulled down the covers. Immediately, she held his lips apart and began to administer CPR. “Don, baby, please, wake up,” she pleaded between breaths. Tears streamed from her eyes and ran down her cheeks before falling on her husband’s face as she tried desperately to resuscitate him, but she already knew it was too late.
