I have zero desire to bare my Kat-inspired tattoo to her family, but I obviously can’t leave her hanging. Begrudgingly, I roll up my sleeve to display the full expanse of my bicep—and everyone instantly expresses amazement and amusement all at once.
“What’s ‘PG’ on her collar?” Ryan asks, leaning in to get a closer look.
“Party Girl,” I say. “The first night I met Kat, I asked her how a magazine article would label her if they were writing an oversimplified article about her, and she said, ‘They’d call me a Party Girl with a Heart of Gold.’”
Kat’s entire family expresses agreement with that assessment.
“I wanted to put K-U-M on the collar, but I figured Kat would kill me if I told the entire world her initials.”
“Ha!” Ryan says, looking at Kat. “You don’t want the world to know you’re name is semen, Jizz? You see what you did to your poor daughter, Mom? You’ve scarred her for life. She’d rather be known as a party girl than get called Kum Shot everywhere she goes.”
Kat’s mom rolls her eyes. “Only you guys would eventhinkto call her that. Katherine Ulla is a beautiful name.”
“Sure it is, Mom,” Ryan retorts. “That wasn’t a cruel thing to do to your one and only daughter at all—was it Kum Shot?”
“Stop it,” Kat’s mom snaps. “You won’t be able to say that in front of your niece or nephew, you know, so you’d better start cleaning up your act now.”
“Not gonna happen, Mom,” Ryan says breezily. “That baby will think Kum Shot is Mommy’s given name.”
Kat’s mom covers her face with her hands.
“I like the two olives in the martini glass,” Dax says, scrutinizing my arm. “Nice touch.”
Kat kisses her dad on his cheek. “See, Dad? A man doesn’t get a tattoo for his girlfriend lightly.” She smiles broadly. “I’d say it’s pretty serious.”
Shit. Yet again, I know Kat means well, but every time she uses the word “girlfriend” I feel like she’s calling me flop-dick.
“Hey, Kumquat,” Colby says, breaking his silence. “What’s a guy with a broken leg gotta do around here to get a hug from his pregnant sister?”
Kat breaks away from her dad and bounds to the end of the table where Colby’s marooned with his leg in a cast. Gingerly, Kat takes Colby’s face in her hands and kisses him on the cheek and the two of them hug for a long minute.
“What the hell is ‘chattel,’ by the way?” Colby asks softly into Kat’s hair. “And why the hell do you know that word?”
Kat laughs. “Sarah always says it. I think it just means, you know, like when a woman used to be a man’s property?”
“Ah. I see.” Colby locks eyes with me. “Welcome to the family, Josh,” he says. “I think you’ll find it’s a pretty fucking awesome family—excuse my language, Mom.”
“Oh, well, shit, that’s okay,” Kat’s mom says. “If ever there was an appropriate time to drop an f-bomb, this is it. Speaking of which—holy fuck—I’m gonna be a grandma.”
Everyone laughs.
“Welcome to our fucking awesome family, Josh,” Kat’s mom continues. “I for one already love you.”
My heart explodes in my chest. “Thank you, Lou.”
“So what do you say we dig into that pie you brought, huh?” Louise says. “I feel the sudden need to eat a very big slice.”
Twenty-Six
Josh
I peek through a crack in the door and peer out into the courtyard, scanning the faces of Jonas and Sarah’s wedding guests, all of them seated and patiently awaiting the start of the ceremony. Obviously, ninety percent of the attendees at this wedding are Sarah’s friends and family—which doesn’t surprise me. Jonas and I have no family other than Uncle William—and if Jonas has made any close friends over the years, he’s certainly never introduced them to me.
“Wow, those flowers are incredible,” I say, surveying the virtual explosion of flowers in the courtyard. “I’ve never seen anything like that. It’s like a gingerbread house made of flowers.”
“Sarah saw this ‘wall of flowers’ in some celebrity magazine and lost her shit,” Jonas says behind my back. “So I told her to do whatever her little heart desired.”
“It’s amazing. Hey, are those the violinist and cellist from my house the other night?” I ask, spotting the two women playing a symphonic piece, along with a third woman playing a large harp.