“One-ball in the side pocket,” Jonas says, just before sinking the shot. “So did Theresa help you pick out Kat’s ring, too? Something that’ll ‘sear her corneas’—I believe was the phrase you used when you nagged me about it?”
“Oh, no,” I say, scoffing. “I’m notproposingto Kat tonight. I’m not a fucking masochist. I already asked her once and she practically flipped me the bird. Getting disemboweled once by Kat was plenty, thank you very much.”
“What the fuck did you say to Kat when you asked her? I don’t understand why she said no.”
“Actually, I think her exact words were, ‘I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last goddamned man on earth.’”
Jonas grimaces. “Wow, that’s pretty harsh.”
“That’s Kat for you—you never wonder where you stand with her.”
“Josh, seriously. Why’d she turn you down? I don’t understand. You love each other, right? And she’s carrying your baby. So it should be a no-brainer—you two should get married.”
I shrug. “I pissed her off. It’s not hard to do—trust me. And now she doesn’t wanna marry me. Which is fine because I don’t wanna get married.” I motion to the pool table. “Take your shot, bro. Kat will be here soon.”
“But if you’re not gonna ask Kat to marry you tonight, then what the fuck are you doing with the violin and the chef?”
I grin. “Tonight’s gonna be even better than a marriage proposal. I’m giving Kat a once-in-a-lifetime gift—and then I’m finally gonna tell her the three little words.”
Jonas raises his eyebrows, clearly surprised. “You haven’t already told her you love her?”
My stomach clenches. He’s making me feel insecure. “No. I’m gonna tell her tonight. Plus, like I said, I’m gonna give her a gift she’ll never forget.”
“But you already asked her to marry you.”
“Correct.”
“I’m totally confused. You proposedmarriageto Kat without telling her youloveher?”
I nod, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. It sounds so wrong when he says it in that holier-than-thou tone of voice.
Jonas scowls at me. “You said ‘Will you marry me, Kat?’ but you didn’t also say ‘I love you more than the air I breathe, Kat’?”
I nod. I wish he’d drop it already.
“Josh, what the fuck did you say to Kat when you asked her to marry you? I can’t for the life of me fathom what you said if it didn’t include the words ‘I love you more than life itself and I can’t live without you.’”
I shift my weight. I feel my cheeks flushing. “I just told her, you know...”
Jonas waits for me to finish my sentence, and when I don’t, he shakes his head at me, bends over the table, and lines up his next shot. “Nine-ball off the ten, then off the side, and then into the side pocket.” He sinks his shot in one fluid, confident motion.
“Why do I even bother playing pool with you?” I say. “If I don’t run the table out of the gate, I might as well just sit the fuck down. It’s pointless.”
“Three in the far corner.” He bends over and sinks his shot. “How could you possibly propose marriage to a woman andnottell her you love her in the same breath?”
I roll my eyes. “Jonas, come on. I’d just found out Kat’s pregnant with my accidental spawn. I was a deer in headlights. Love was the furthest thing from my mind. I was just trying to do the right thing.”
Jonas grimaces. “Well, shit. No wonder Kat turned you down—rightfully so, you dumbshit.” He calls his next shot and sinks it with startling ease.
“Yeah, fuck it—it doesn’t matter. It all worked out for the best,” I say, feeling defensive. “Kat really did me a big favor by saying no. I didn’t know it then, of course—at the time, it felt like Kat was kicking me in the teeth—but now I see she was the only one thinking clearly. Holy shit, I can’t believe I just said that aboutKat.”
Jonas stands completely upright and rests his hands on the end of his pool cue, staring at me intensely. “Do you love her?” he asks.
“Yeah. I do. Without a doubt.”
“And she’s carrying your baby?”
I nod. “Yeah, we’ve already established that fact. I showed you the video, remember?”
