My heart is palpitating wildly. I clutch my chest. I feel like I’m having a heart attack.
“I missed a pill one of the days we were in Vegas,” she continues, “but only because the days and nights blurred together so much while we were there—remember that? And the minute I realized I’d messed up, I immediately took the missing pill. And I really thought everything was okay—I really did, Josh—but just to be sure, I took a pregnancy test a few days after I got home and it was negative, so I figured we were in the clear.” She grimaces. “But then I started feeling sick and my nipples were sore and then I barfed out of nowhere so I took another test, and lo and behold...” She exhales loudly and shrugs. “I’m rambling—sorry. The bottom line is I’m pregnant with your mighty spawn and I didn’t do it on purpose—I swear to God on a stack of bibles—and I’m really, really sorry.”
I feel like I’m gonna hurl. This seriously can’t be happening.
“I’m not looking to trap you into anything,” Kat says, her blue eyes flickering with obvious anxiety. “Nothing needs to change between us. We’ll just, you know, keep doing what we’re doing—and, at some point, we’ll, you know, happen to have a baby together.”
I open and shut my mouth, willing myself to speak, but nothing comes out. That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say in my life.Nothing needs to change? We’ll just keep doing what we’redoing and one day we’ll happen to have a baby?Did she really just say that to me? Is she high?
Typhoid Joe begins coughing and sniffling loudly and I look at the guy, willing him to keel over and fucking die.
Shit. This can’t be happening.
I stare at the toddler sitting across from me for a moment. Kat’s growing one ofthoseinside her body—and it’s aFaraday? I run my hands through my hair. This is a fucking nightmare—the one thing I was never supposed to do. Oh my God. How many times did Dad tell me not to make a Faraday unworthy of my name and bank account? A Faraday has to beplanned. A Faraday has to be onpurpose. “If you’re not careful, you’ll wind up having a crazy-ass kid like Jonas with some gold digger you don’t give two shits about,” my father used to say.
Kat clears her throat. “So are you gonna say something or what?”
The room is closing in on me. I can’t breathe. I open my mouth and close it, yet again.Fuck. How many times did my dad make meswearI’d never bring an accidental Faraday into the world? How many times did he fill me with the fear of God about some scheming gold digger using a baby to trap me into making her a part of our “empire”?
Kat shakes her head, obviously annoyed by my silence. “Say something,” she says softly. But when I don’t speak, her entire body stiffens with defiance. “I’m not gonna get an abortion, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
I don’t know what in my facial expression made Kat think I was about to ask her for an abortion—because I wasn’t. I went to St. Francis Academy growing up, for fuck’s sake. Some things are just too deeply ingrained to change.
“Say something, Josh,” Kat pleads, her eyes glistening. “You’re killing me, Smalls.”
“I...” I stammer. “I would never ask you to... get rid of it. That’s not at all what I’m thinking.”
“Then what are you thinking?”
Fuck me. I have no idea what I’m thinking, other than “How the fuck did this happen to me?” Every single fuck of my life, without exception, from minute one, I’ve practiced safe sex. Kat’s the firstwoman I’ve ever fucked without a rubber—ever—and now she’spregnant?
“Hey, look on the bright side,” Kat says. “It’s still early yet. The pregnancy might not stick.”
“What do you mean?” I ask dumbly.
“There’s a relatively high chance of miscarriage during the first trimester,” she says, shrugging her drooping shoulders. “Especially, I’d assume, when you ply the poor little thing with booze, pot, and blinding orgasms on a Sybian.”
I put my head in my hands. Holy shit. This is a nightmare. I can’t believe she forgot to take her pill. I trusted her and she totally blew it. All of a sudden, I can hear my dad’s voice as surely as if he were standing an inch away from me, pressing his lips against my ear.I’ll get the last laugh on that gold digger’s ass and disown you faster than she can demand a paternity test.
“You’re sure it’s mine?” I blurt.
Kat clenches her jaw. “I’m sure.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I just meant... how far along are you? That’s what I meant to ask. I know you were with Cameron the week before me, so...” I abruptly shut my mouth. Oh shit. She looks like she’s about to stab me.
“It’s yours, Josh.” Her eye twitches. “That was a low blow.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, my heart exploding. “That came out wrong.” I cover my ears with my palms. I can’t stop hearing my father’s voice screaming at me.
The toddler in the waiting room shouts something to his mother about wanting a box of raisins and she gently shushes him. Oh shit. I’m gonna have a kid who screams about raisins in a hospital waiting room?
When my gaze returns to Kat, she’s looking at me with steely eyes. “Your father really did a number on you, didn’t he?” she says.
I can’t reply.
“So are you gonna say something besides asking me if it’s yours?” Kat asks. “Because if not, I’m gonna head back into Colby’s room and be with my family.”
I swallow hard. “How far along are you?” I ask. “That’s all I meant to ask, Kat. I wasn’t implying...” I trail off.
