He looks shocked.
I press my lips together. Oh shit. I just dropped another one of my atomic bombs, didn’t I? Oh fuck. That was harsh. Honest, but harsh.
I just can’t help myself. Ever since reading Josh’s application (and seeing Emma’s beautiful, shy photo in Josh’s Sick Fuck folder), I’ve had somewhat of a fixation on this Emma bitch. On the one hand, I’ve felt the primal urge to rip her limb from limb for hurting Josh. And, on the other hand, I’ve honestly been a bit obsessed with trying to figure out why the heck he stayed so long with a woman who was so obviously his total mismatch in every way (other than the fact that she’s literally the most stunningly beautiful creature I’ve ever seen).
Josh looks floored. Pissed, I’d even say.
“Damn, that drink you made me was really, really strong,” I say, my face turning hot.
Josh’s jaw muscles are pulsing like crazy.
Shit. Maybe I’ve totally misjudged this. Maybe he can commit. Hell, maybe he was on the verge of asking Emma to marry him, for all I know. Oh, jeez, yes. Maybe that’s why he now says marriage isn’t in the cards for him? Is Josh just a case study of a man with a shattered heart? But, clearly, I can’t ask him if he was about to propose. It’s too sensitive. I opt for something slightly more innocuous. “So did you and Emma live together?”
Josh makes a face I’m not expecting, like he’s embarrassed about what he’s about to say. “No. It was a long-distance relationship. She lives in New York.”
Oh, Sweet Jesus. Is he frickin’ kidding me? “It was along-distance relationship?” I boom, totally shocked.
“Yeah. So?” he says, clearly defensive. “I get out to New York all the time for work. I saw her a lot.”
There’s a very long silence.
Josh’s face is bright red.
I’m sure mine is, too.
James Bay is singing to us about scars.
I feel like I’ve said way, way, way too much. My inner-bitch just came out full-force. God, I suck sometimes. “So... what’s your favorite movie of all time?” I ask brightly. “If you could be anyone from *NSync other thanJustin Timberlake, who would you be? Do you have a spirit animal?”
“You’re not what I’d call the world’s foremost expert on relationships,” Josh says, his voice low and intense. “I wouldn’t exactly hire you to write the definitive textbook onHow to Have a Healthy, Lasting Relationship.”
I part my lips, speechless.
His jaw is clenched.
I squint at him for a long moment, trying to look like a badass—but then, goddammit, tears prick my eyes. “You’re right,” I finally say. “I pretty much suck at relationships.” I wipe my eyes. “I’m sorry for saying all that stuff. I shouldn’t have said it.”
He twists his mouth and exhales. “If you hadn’t said it, you’d still be thinking it.”
I don’t correct him. He’s right.
He shakes his head. “I must say, you have quite a knack fornotkissing my ass, Kat.”
I smash my lips together.
“I’m not used to it,” he says.
“Sorry,” I say.
Josh shakes his head like he’s chastising me. “No apology required.”
I bite my lip.
He grazes his fingertips up the length of my arm and my skin electrifies under his touch.
“You get really sassy when you’re buzzed, you know that?” he says.
I nod. My crotch is suddenly burning.
