I laugh.
“You like him?”
“Yeah, I’m gone—Gone, Baby, Gone. I’m BenandCasey Afflecked.”
Sarah squeals. “And Josh? Is heGone, Baby, Gone, too?”
“Well, all signs point to yes. Not allwords, mind you, but all signs. I’ve definitely gotta read the tea leaves a bit when it comes to Joshua William Faraday.”
Sarah rolls her eyes. “Those Faraday boys sure weren’t raised to talk about their ‘fucking feelings.’”
I sigh wistfully. “You can say that again.”
“Aw, sounds like you’re a smitten kitten,” Sarah says.
I twist my mouth. “Sarah, I’m not smitten. I’m head over heels in love with him.”
Sarah’s eyes widen. “Holy crappola, girl. I’ve never heard you say that before.”
“I’ve never said it before. But I am.”
“Have you told him?”
I shake my head. “I’ve told him he’s the sexiest man alive. And that I think he’s awesome and I’m addicted. But we certainly haven’t traded the magic words—we haven’t even called each other boyfriend and girlfriend yet.” I roll my eyes. “It’s the weirdest thing. We’re so intimate on the one hand—so close and open and honest and connected—it’s insane how connected—and yet we’re so closed off in some ways. Like there are these unwritten rules.” I shrug. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I get it—believe me—more than you know. Well, have you had the whole ‘let’s not date other people’ conversation, at least?”
“Yeah. But not in the usual way. It came up through this weird back door.”
Sarah grimaces.
“Oh, Sarah. You and your fear of anal.” I laugh. “I wasn’t being literal. I meant it came up because we were talking about doing allsorts of freaky sex-stuff and we decided to be exclusive for that.It wasn’t like, ‘Oh, darling, my heart simply can’t beat without you. I’m ready to take our intimate and budding romance to the next level.’”
Sarah makes a commiserating face. “Same with Jonas. He invited me to be the ‘sole member of The Jonas Faraday Club.’ He never said, ‘Let’s be exclusive.’ Everything’s always in code with that guy. But, really, is there some official way a guy’s supposed to ask to be exclusive? It all gets you to the same place in the end, right?”
I shrug. “Yeah, that’s true. And he did say he doesn’t want anyone touching me. He said it makes him crazy to think of someone else with me.”
“Well, see? There you go. He’s telling you. And he flew you down to L.A. for a long weekend, and now he’s up here to see you the very next weekend. That sure screams ‘girlfriend’ to me.”
“Under normal circumstances, I’d agree. But I don’t know for sure.”
Sarah grabs my hand. “Kat, you’re overthinking it. I saw you two in Vegas. The chemistry is through the roof. He’s totally into you.”
“I know he is. He’s made that clear. I’m not blind. It’s just that our relationship is so sexual—which is fan-fucking-tastic, don’t get me wrong. But I just can’t tell if it’s all about the sex and excitement and here-and-now for him or if he wants something more. You know, something a bit more permanent.”
“Here’s a crazy idea: just ask him. Talk like adults.”
“Pfft. Yeah, because that’s whatyoudid, right? I seem to recall Jonas not saying the three magic words after Belize and you were like, ‘I don’t need no stinkin’ magic words. He told me in a super-secret code and that’s just great with me.’”
Sarah makes a face. “That’s true. I did say that.”
I motion like she’s just made my point.
“Okay, I get it,” Sarah says. “Well, then. Here’s a different approach. How about you get yourself stabbed in a bathroom at U Dub? That’ll jumpstart a conversation about your fucking feelings in a New York minute.”
“Hey, there’s an idea. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“God only knows if Jonas ever would have told me he loves me if external forces hadn’t intervened.”
