I laugh.
“Brouhaha?” she asks.
“What the fuck?No. Weirdo.”
She shrugs.
We sit and think.
“Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” she offers.
I jut my lip, considering it. “Since that’s the only thing I know how to make, in theory, itcouldcome up.”
“I truly cannot fathom how either of us would say ‘peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ while fucking, but okay, if you say so. How about ‘rainbows and unicorns’? That’ll never come out of my mouth, I guarantee you.”
“Might come out of mine—you’re a total unicorn, babe. I could totally imagine myself blurting that in a moment of weakness. Even if I don’t say ‘rainbows’ along with it, it could still get confusing.”
She laughs. “This shouldn’t be that hard.”
I sit and think for a moment. “Flesh-eating bacteria,” I say.
“Hell no. You’re demented to even suggest it. Come on. Dinosaur. Doorknob. Dandelion. Dungarees. Deedle-deedle-dee. Pick one.”
I laugh. “No, hang on. I’m kinda digging ‘flesh-eating bacteria.’ I can’t imagine any sexual scenario in which those words would ever come up.”
“As opposed to ‘dungarees’ or ‘dandelion’?” She rolls her eyes. “Come on, Josh. Spaghetti. Skateboard. Ballerina. Scooby Doo. Multi-vitamin.From Justin to Kelly. ‘My Little Pony.’ Hot tamale.”
“Oh my God.” I hoot with glee. “From Justin to Kelly. Winner-winner-chicken-dinner.”
Kat rolls her eyes. “What?No. I was totally kidding. Harry Potter. Chili-cheese fries. ‘Go big or go home.’ Hunky dory.”
“Nope. We’ve got our winner.From Justin to Kellyit is.”
She twists her mouth. “You’re a silly man.”
I laugh.
“You totally saw that movie, didn’t you?”
“Hell yeah. It was part of initiation in my fraternity. I saw it during hell-week.”
She laughs. “You gothazedwithFrom Justin to Kelly?”
I nod. “It was brutal.”
She’s laughing her ass off. “Oh my God.”
“So, hey, babe, there’s something I wanna run past you before we get started.”
“Okay.”
“In order to pull off some of your crazy-ass stuff, I might need to enlist a little help occasionally from third parties—not for anything sexual, obviously—never anything sexual—just in setting the stage for a scenario.”
She makes a face. “Could you be more specific about how you define ‘setting the stage’?”
“Not without giving things away.”
There’s a long beat.
