“Te quiero mucho, Mamí,” I let out. “Wherever you are... I hope you’re proud of me.”
The words break something loose in my chest. I let out a breath and walked to the front window, dragging the sleeve of my sweatshirt across the dusty glass. The smudge smears, but it’s enough. I can see through it now.
Carter’s leaning against his gunmetal RAM TRX with his arms crossed, one boot braced against the tire, and his hat tilted low over his eyes, his signature pose. He doesn’t know I’m looking, he’s just waiting for me, like always.
My hand presses to the window, as I rest my forehead against the cool frame just above it. My heart thuds like it’s trying to speak for me. I close my eyes and say it—just once, soft enough that only the ghost of my mother could hear it.
“Mamí… I love him.” The words catch and crack mid-air. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
Tears pool again, but this time I let them fall. “I know it sounds crazy. I know I’m still a mess. I’m chaos on my best days, and a disaster on my worst.”
A shaky breath escapes as my fingers toy with the goldpendant around my neck. “With him, I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid of how I used to be. It isn’t this kind of fear that nags in my mind, telling me that I’m hard to love, screaming at me that I’ll always be too broken.”
The words catch at the back of my throat, softer now, like I’m saying them for the first time. “Because with him, it’s quiet.”
My gaze lingers on Carter as he scans his surroundings, still oblivious to the fact that I’m staring at him. “He doesn’t try to fix me. He doesn’t ask me to shrink or dim myself down. He just… stays. He’s seen all of it—the anxiety, the daddy issues, the mess—and never once flinched.”
I choke out a sob, rubbing my nose with the sleeve of my sweater. “He stays when I scream, when I cry, when I mentally shut down, and he chooses to stay through all of it. He makes a safe space for me, and he makes me feel like I’m not a burden.” I barely choke out. “And he loves me, not in spite of everything I am... but because of it.”
I let my gaze linger on him as my hand presses harder against the glass.
“I think I want to love him back.” I pause, letting out a breath.
“For real. Without fear. Without running.”
carter
. . .
A week later
Vartan
So you’re ignoring me now? What the fuck is your deal?
Carter
Who is this?
Iquickly pocket my phone, knowing damn well who that was, and pay attention to the group. Catalina’s friends came as soon as they were able to celebrate their best friend. Glasses clink, laughter bounces from wall to wall, and the scent of fried food and tequila lingers in the air. Our table’s tucked into the back corner, already cluttered with shot glasses, crumpled napkins, and half-eaten fries.
The noise usually pisses me off, but I don’t give a damn about any of it, not when Catalina’s sitting on my lap in the booth, glowing like she’s the fucking sun. I’ve got one arm hooked around her waist, as my fingers rest just beneath the hem of her top, her skin soft and warm under my hand. I lean into her and brush a kiss to her shoulder because I can’t help it.
She’s in a black tube top and distressed denim clings to every supple curve of her body. Her hair is freshly curled, leaving a soft scent of vanilla as I breathe her in. She’s lit up with pure joy as we all sit and talk amongst each other.
“Alright, alright,” Maverick claps his hands, drawing attention to himself like the fucking peacock he is. “Let’s raise a glass to Catalina. For proving that being a spoiled rich kid doesn’t mean you can’t also be a bad bitch and do it on your own.”
Catalina rolls her eyes but grins, lifting her glass with everyone else.
“God, Maverick, could you be any more fucking annoying?” Amelia hisses, throwing the shot back without looking at him.
He leans over the table toward her, flashing that cocky grin that gets him out of speeding tickets and into way too many beds. “You say that now, dollface, but I saw you checking me out during that toast. It’s okay to be obsessed with me, most women are.”
Amelia doesn’t miss a beat. “I was checking to see if your forehead could reflect the neon sign in front of you. It can.”
The whole table laughs, and Maverick clutches his chest. “You wound me. But it’s fine. My love for you is strong enough for both of us.”
Layla leans over to Reed, whispering something that makes him chuckle under his breath. She’s wearing glitter under her eyes and Reed can’t stop staring at her like she’s the damn northern lights.
