Usually hanging with him was casual but his question instantly made me bristle. I hadn’t realized he noticed the calls. That random Connecticut number had continued calling since that first time, and still unsure if I should answer, I often just silenced the ringer without letting it hang up. But this time, I’d beendistracted with other thoughts. Alta related thoughts. And now another call had come and gone without me even noticing.
Scooping the device up, I studied the screen briefly. Same number. I didn't know whether it was a comfort or a relief at this point. But it was there and I guess that’s all I had to go off of for now.
“It’s probably nobody,” I said.
“Probably?” Clay asked. “You mean, you don’t know?”
“No,” I said, not wanting to elaborate to his nosey ass. I could feel him looking at me. Staring. Judging. Which just made me cut a glare at him. “What, man?”
“You don’t even know who it is you’ve been ignoring for weeks?” he asked.
“I have a feeling,” I said with a sigh. “My mom called the shop a little while ago. I don’t know what she wanted, but her and dad are the only Connecticut numbers that would possibly call me so much.”
Though, these calls had started before Mom found me.
I didn’t tell Clay this, but somehow he caught onto my precarious hopes. “Could it be her?”
I wanted to deny it, wanted to discount any claim that dared to be so grand. But there was the simple fact that, yes. Yes, it could very well be her and I was too afraid to find out.
He read my mind, nodding as his own raced. Silence stretched, then suddenly his head popped up. “You know, my little brother might be able to help find out who it is. Trace the number, that sort of thing.”
“Your younger brother?” I said, trying to remember anything he told me about him. “He’s like, what? A hacker?”
“A computer nerd, yeah.” Clay waved. “But he’s good at all that stuff. I don’t get it myself, but I bet if we send him the number, he’ll be able to find the caller.”
“Oh…”
“Oh, yay? Or…”
“Oh… What if it is her?” I asked, sudden anxiety taking up residence in my chest. “Oh… What do I even say if it’s her? Oh… What kind of person am I to have ignored her for so long if it’s her?”
“Easy, take it easy,” Clay said. “I don’t want you getting your hopes up or anything. Just take it one thing at a time. First, we find out who it is, and if it’s her, we go from there.”
“They call every few days or so.” I shook my head. “I want to answer just to yell at whoever it is to leave me alone. I left those memories as memories for a reason. But… What if I answer to yell at the person and it’s her and I don’t know what to say or do and she gets mad or spooked and she leaves again? Then it’ll be my fault twice that she’s gone.”
“That’s not going to happen. And even if it did, we’d find her… And even if it’s not her, you’ll be alright,” he said. “But you gotta do something, man. I can see your hopes getting tied up in this and it could literally just be someone trying to collect your old dry clean bill or some shit. Shit gets messy when you get your hopes involved.”
Brown eyes, a wide smile, and the voice of an angel filled my mind. It was already too late on some fronts. Hope was a living, breathing thing where I couldn’t help it growing. For what, I didn’t know yet. All I knew was it was for her. Any part of her. Every part of her. Tobea part of her.
I shook my head, a sigh slipping out. “You’re right. There’s no way she’d want anything to do with me anyway.”
A hand clamped over my shoulder hard. “Send me the number. I’ll pass it to Connor.”
I nodded, agreeing. What I didn’t say was, I wasn't even sure which her I was even talking about anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Two
ALTA
One day.
Pleasetell me I could go one measly day without wanting to be pinned under Harper.
I honestly wish that was the case, but if I said so, it would be a lie.
I came to this devastating realization as I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling on Friday night.Wide awake.
Harper had ruined me. Ever since we broke the seal so to speak, I hadn’t been able to string together two coherent thoughts without inserting him in the middle. The man had already been on my mind more than any other guy before this arrangement began, now he was on my mind morethan anything else period.
