Harper’s advice to use my schedule as a hypothetical“fuck you”had worked. On three separate occasions I was approached about something that I either didn’t have time for or I simply didn’t want to do at work.
I was thrown in feet first with Grace being my first visitor. On my way out once again when she approached me about some task I was sure I’d done the day before. When she asked me to show her the completed assignment I was referring to, I tapped into the badass boss the guys atInk and Marthought I was and told Grace that she could look into it herself because I had an appointment to attend.
Leaving her there gaping was a kind of exposure therapy that I didn’t know I needed. It felt amazing, and facing that giant made everyone else feel like ants in comparison. Everyone but him of course.
My big brother.
He had come by earlier in the day, standing over my desk looking almost bashful. I was deep into typing up a brief for an upcoming marketing meeting, one of the only things that actually interested me about my job, and instead of being excited to see him like I usually was when the king came down here to visit the mere mortals on this floor, I felt instantly annoyed.
“Yes?” I’d asked.
“Hey,” he said lamely. It hung in the air as the sound of my typing filled the space. “Are you busy?”
“Yes,” I said. Because I wasobviouslybusy.
Apparently, that message wasn’t so easily received. Not when his next words were. “Okay… I was wondering if you wanted that rain check. From our last lunch.”
My hands stalled, my words pausing on the keyboard. Looking up, I was swarmed with the overwhelming scrutiny of black. Ox was hunting. In my case, he was probably hunting for a new way to reprimand me, and I was not in the mood.
“Did you ever read my email?” I asked.
His lips thinned.Caught. “No.”
“Why not?” I asked. Willing to give him the benefit of the doubt since he was being honest.
“I forgot,” he said.
“Do you normally forget things that are important to you, Ox?” I asked with a surprisingly sharp tone.
He was smart enough not to answer that. “I’ll read it at lunch.”
It was too late; I was already angry. And maybe not even that, just disappointed. And maybe it would have been nice of me to be more understanding or forgiving or whatever. But I was tired of being the only one in the family who had to exercise those skills. So instead of giving my brother an out, like I always did, I decided to be the brat that I’m sure he thought I was.
And I did it.
I pointed at the schedule. There, taped to the front of my desk as Harper had told me. And then I resumed my typing. “That’s my current schedule, Ox. I was willing to move it around for you before. But I’m not now. Maybe some other time.”
And now all I got was him glaring at me from the other side of our family dinner table. Sulking likeIhad been the one to constantly disappointhim.
The sharp snap of cutlery on dishes rattled the silence, Amá’s voice coming out like a lashing. “Are none of my children speaking to each other?”
Peeking up, I glanced around the table. None of my brothers and sisters budged, not making any moves to clear the bad air. Normally I would offer myself up first, but I wouldn’t do it tonight.
“Alta?” I winced at the sound of my name out of my mother’s mouth. When I looked up at her she smiled. “Que pasa, mija?”
I felt my heart melt for my mom. She was so good, and she knew I would answer her even when her other children were being stubborn. But I was only first when it came to bringing the peace. I was last for everything else.
My eyes sliced to Ox who was watching me expectantly as he leaned back in his chair with an irritated look on his face. I didsomething I never did. I glared, just as he would, and his eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Sorry, Amá,” I said. “Children don’t speak unless spoken to.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Ox grumbled, his eyes closing for a whole three seconds as he sighed. “Alta, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Hard to take it any other way.”
“You said that?” Amá asked, sounding appalled at her son.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not in those words.”
