All the way to the gym and even as we settled into our spots in class, Con continued to be quiet in his thoughts. I usually didn’t mind it, just as long as I knew what he was thinking. Now, it seemed like he was worrying about something he wasn’t letting me in on. And that tight pull of his mouth as he frowned in concentration was starting to mess with me.
So before Jen started class, I pulled on Connor’s arm to get his attention. My breath almost caught when he gave it to me. All dark skin, and brooding hazel eyes as he focused intently on me. He stared at me like he’d hang on every word. Like he knew anything I’d say would be worth it. It was a familiar and unfamiliar feeling all at once. Had it always felt like this to have him look at me? Had it always felt so…exposing?
I didn’t know, and now was not the time I wanted to figure it out. Now was the time to get those big stupid eyebrows to stop pulling together in a frown.
“I have a confession to make,” I whispered to him in a tone that suggested urgency.
He grunted, but I could tell he was a little on edge by my tone. Rotating my wrist I gestured for him to lean in. Then, with a dramatic cup of my hand to the side of my mouth, I said, “I’ve seen you naked too.”
I have not. But I went on.
“And—woo—you’re really starting to let yourself go.”
A complete and total fucking lie. Anyone who laid eyes on Connor could see that he was a specimen to behold. Toned everything, from his big arms to his bigger thighs. His flat ridged abs and even his forearms felt dirty to look at for too long. All thick and veiny, leading into wrists I couldn’t even wrap an entire hand around. Hands that were probably big enough to palm one entire…
Okay, Celestia, enough of that.
Luckily, I was cut off from my inappropriate thoughts by the slow rumble of Connor’s laughter. The way he went from looking at me like I was crazy to a slow smile spreading across his face to outright laughing had me mirroring each state in accompanying glee.
I loved to make him laugh.
I loved to make him anything really. Any reaction I pulled from him gave me this sick sense of satisfied power. It reminded me that I meant something to him.
And I never wanted that to change.
Chapter Twenty-two
CECI
Pancake: Text me when you’re ready. I don’t want you walking over alone.
Me: Mama bird, you need to stop worrying and let me fly. I can walk from a parking lot to the door just fine.
Pancake: Nah, I’ll get you.
Pancake: And I thought I told you not to drive.
Me: I don’t plan on drinking much so it should be fine.
Pancake: I’m worried about you.
Me: I’m worried me not drinking gets you worried about me.
Pancake: Just get here already. I’ll see you soon.
I should have noticed the strange wording right away.Get here. Like he was already at the quiet little bar on the upper end of the city. He’d told me to meet him at seven and it was only six-fifty. So why was he already there?
Unfortunately, my mind had been focused on other things as I made the short drive over to the spot. The glass storefront that looked into a warm dimly lit bar room with high wooden tables and a rustic iron display of liquor was usually only a few minutes’ walk from my apartment. Ten at most. But I was being more cautious about when and where I walked these days. Ten minutes suddenly seemed like too long a time to risk it alone in the dark.
But I was getting better about not being so scared.
Lately, ever since I started working out at Counter Strike Gym, what happened in the dark that night in front of the store wasn’t messing with my head as much as it had initially. Now, what happened whenever I closed my eyes is what really taunted me.
Hands, arms, chest, thighs. Touches, caresses, proximity, language. All these things, foreign and confusing, seemed to be playing on repeat in my brain. And it wasn’t the touch itself that was freaking me out. Or even the fact that it felt good in a way nothing had ever felt before. It was who they belonged to that was the problem.
A knock on my window jolted me out of my thoughts and I looked over to see Connor peering in with a worried look on his face. I guess I’d spaced out.
Cutting the engine I hopped out of the car. Con stepped out of the way shutting my door behind me. When I moved to start walking in, he stopped me by my elbow.
