I think she thought hiding our friendship would be fun because at some point she expected everyone to find out and for it to cause a big fuss. When they didn’t find out—not even a little bit—we just continued on with it like it was another one of our ongoing shenanigans.
Which is why I had to play dumb as I answered my brother’s question.
“A party, I think,” I responded, but I damn wellknewit was a party. A birthday party to be precise.
“I think he means, why are we in attendance? Actually, why is it that we seem to be at everything this family does?” Clint, my oldest brother asked. There was a bite of annoyance in his voice that was rare. He was usually cold and indifferent but didn’t get his feathers ruffled by the small things. Today he seemed irritated.
Normally, I’d ask him about it, but today I had other priorities. So with a long glance I just said, “We’re here because Tiney asked us to come.”
Lie. I was here because if the little terror named Celestia Fernandez found out I didn’t come to her birthday party, even though she knew it would be a tough setting to keep our friendship hidden in, she would have my balls. The fact that Tine, my younger sister and Ceci’s sister-in-law, had invited my brothers and I was just a convenient coincidence. Without it, I would have had to come up with some other random reason to show up.
At times I found it just as fun as Ceci to keep us a secret. To sneak around while we did fun things and never had to answer assuming questions about our relationship? We never had to do the song and dance of explaining our connection. We never had to explainus,which was nice because if someone were to ask me to try, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to articulate the strange way we connected so perfectly.
Ceci was abrasive and rash and impulsive at her best, while I took things slow I kept my thoughts to myself until they were fully formulated and I made decisions based on analysis. We were different at our cores, but we fit in the way that some people just clicked. From the very beginning we could laugh with each other, joke, and speak freely. Like we’d known each other for years.
Everything important that I’d learned about her—like how she was loyal, protective, and fiercely herself—I’d learned straight off. Everything else, like her goofy, silly, and often bratty sides, had been sprinkled in the more I got to know her.
Which is how I knew if I didn’t get in there quick, there would be hell to pay.
Pulling up short of the door, I turned on my brothers. Clint—tall, dark, with a muscled thin frame that was bordering concerning these days stopped first. Clay, with his golden brown skin, curled dark hair, and permanent scowl tried to move past me and barrel through the front door. I stepped into his path. They were both being so sour. I didn’t want that at Cee’s party, even if she didn’t give two shits about these two—and she didn’t—I would still run interference to protect her special day.
“If you guys don’t want to come, don’t. I’ll show for all of us and let Tine know you couldn’t make it,” I said easily, meaning it.
Clay made a face, squinting up the house behind me. “I’ve already been spotted. I can't leave now.”
I peeked over my shoulder at one of the large windows of the front foyer. The thick embroidered curtains there were swinging as if someone had just looked out of them. Whether it was our sister or someone else, I didn’t know.
“Make an excuse,” I said.
He frowned, “It’s not just that man. We haven’t seen you in forever and the first thing you want to do is go to Pip-squeak’s party?”
I frowned, mainly at the use of “Pip-squeak”, my brother'screativenickname for Ceci. “I see you twoevery dayat work. Am I missing something here?”
Grunts.
I frowned even more. I knew every combination of words those grunts could mean. From Clay they simply meant, we never see you locked away in that tech room all day. From Clint they meant,‘you could be doing so much more than putting up firewalls and fixing computer systems with all those equations in your head’. Both annoyed me because I’d heard both many times before.
I tried not to take it out on them. I knew Clay was coming from a genuine place of concern. He was the first person to notice when I started spending more of my free time with Ceci because that meant I was spending less of it with him. I could tell he missed some of that time we used to share.
Clint, however, was just judging again. I suppose he got it from our mother. He got everything from her, which meant he followed her lead on what to think about my chosen profession—when he wasn’t totally ignoring it that is. Sometimes his indifference to everything but the family business was refreshing, it meant not having to answer to him often. But sometimes it was just exhausting.
I know I exhausted him too. It would be easy to let Clinton Ferguson walk all over me. He was strong and willful and demanding when he needed to be. But he wasn't the only one who’d picked up a trait or two from our parents. While he was the epitome of cold like our mother, I was both strong-willed like her yet empathetic like our Pa. I had no qualms about letting my brother know how his cold shoulder made me feel. And if there was one thing about Clinton, hehatedfeelings. He would do anything to avoid talking about them or God forbidfeelingthem. So now instead of chastising me, he resorted to grunting his displeasure just like Clay.
I flicked my eyes over to Clint, waiting forhisexplanation. He cleared his throat and looked away from my assessing gaze. “She seemed excited about it. I couldn’t say no.”
Shewas Tine. And he couldn’t say no to her because he couldneversay no to her. Not anymore. Not with the debilitating guilt he’d been carrying around with him ever since we reunited with her a couple of years ago, finding her broken and abused by the husband we thought she would be safe with. He hadn’t really forgiven himself for letting her go, and he’s been both punishing himself and trying like hell to make it up to her ever since. He never wanted to let her down again, even if it meant going to a party he really didn’t want to go to.
I had thoughts about this, but they were thoughts Clint wasn’t ready to hear and ones that could wait untilafterI showed my face at Ceci’s party.
“So what then? We’re just complaining about nothing here?” I asked, leveling them with a look.
Clay twisted his mouth to the side and looked me over, then he huffed. “No. Just… Let’s hang sometime soon, alright?”
I nodded and then turned to the door. Enough talk, it was time to go find the birthday girl.
The party was in the backyard, just like a kid’s would be. Also, like a kid’s party, there were stations set up all around the outdoor area with games, activities, food and even a gift table. Most of the guests in attendance were the extended Fernandez family. And while Ceci’s circle of friends didn’t run super wide, there was still the occasional straggler or two present as well.
“Why do I feel like we’re at a five year old’s birthday party instead of a twenty-five year old’s?” Clay asked.
