I could have kicked the door to the shelter in, I was that pissed.
I could have, but I didn’t. Not only because it was private property but also because it would have scared the already shaken people inside. The tension in the air could be cut with a butter knife, and me beingmewould not do it any good.
So instead I went with a simple, “What the fuck is going on here?”
“Lena!” my two girls shrieked when they saw me, running to me as soon as I crossed the threshold.
I wrapped my arms around their shoulders and accepted their embrace with a sigh. “It’s Ceci—but, whatever.What happened?”
“We don’t know!” Christine whined.
“It’s the board,” Nina said more quietly. Whispering really. “They had some big meeting and then all of a sudden we’re getting notices that we're getting shut down.”
“Shut down!” I echoed, pulling back and looking at two sets of fearful eyes. “What do you mean shut down?”
“Relocating,” Chris clarified with air quotes and a bitter tone. “They say that Seaside isn’t big enough for a shelter like this and we don’t get enough donations or support to keep it running full time, much less fund the extra efforts the‘overzealous social workers’take it upon themselves to orchestrate. The organization will move to Providence where there is apparently more help needed.”
My face scrunched. I smelled a rat. “Okay, one:‘orchestrate’makes it sound like you guys are putting on a circus and not like your‘overzelation’is the only thing keeping everyone from going fucking insane here. And two: what’s the quarterly budget?”
“Overzelation isn’t a word, Ceci,” Christine pointed out in a pout.
“That’s what you’re focusing on?” I asked.
“We can’t tell you the budget, you know that,” Nina sighed, snuggling into me.
“You’re going to be out of a job and Seaside out of a woman’s shelter and you’re worried about the rules, Nina? Really?” I asked.
She flinched but then she pulled away from me to look nervously over both her shoulders. Her wet eyes met mine. “Fine, but not here. Maybe we can get coffee somewhere?”
“Nin, it’s ten at night. Coffee is closed,” Christine said, then with a bitter laugh her shoulder slumped. “We're Closed. We were supposed to leave an hour ago.”
They both seemed to shrivel. Like they wanted to leave but didn’t want to at the same time. Like they weren’t sure when they’d ever come back here if they went.
I couldn’t take it. Instantly, I felt this wave of protectiveness rush over me. Making me want to pummel whoever the fuck was responsible for the sorry scene in front of me. Sucking in a breath I felt myself inflate with purpose. “Grab your shit. I have coffee at my place.”
I chose to ignore any and all comments about my car from the two girls who were sitting in it for the first time. I could see by the way their wide eyes trailed along the leather and their hesitant palms slid between their thighs, they were uncomfortable. It made me feel bad, like I had kept a part of myself from them by not telling them about my family and where I come from.
Plopping my cell phone into Nin’s lap, I pulled out from my spot on the curb and started my way home. “Call Connor for me first, and then you can choose the music, okay? He’s the one with the pancake emoji.”
Something about the gesture loosened her up and before we all got too much in our own heads, Connor was answering the phone over the Bluetooth.
“Where are you?” he asked.
Even as anxiety plagued my forethoughts, the sound of his voice brought the corners of my mouth up slightly. “Just now realizing that I’m late, huh?”
“Yeah, I didn't feel my usual headache coming on and I realized something must be up,” he said. “Where you at, Cee?”
“I’m headed home.”
“Here?” he asked, and I peeked up at my friends’ curious eyes.
“To my apartment,” I corrected.
“Oh,” he shifted on something, I think sitting up on the couch. “Something wrong?”
“I don’t know yet. I went to the shelter because of a situation.”
“By yourself?”
