She frowned at me. “It’s not—”
An electronic buzzing sound cut her off, pulling her attention to her digital watch. With every scan of her eyes, her face paled more. Suddenly, she was rushing over to her stuff in the corner to pull out her phone. She read something on the screen there too, before returning to me and looking up with a different sort of expression in her eyes. A worried one. “I have to go.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked, stepping forward. I did not like the look on her face.
Jen shook her head. “Uh—yes. But it is an emergency. I really have to go now.”
And before I could say anything she was speed walking toward the glass door. She only made it so far before she was whipping back around to face me. “I don’t have anyone to cover my classes.”
“Oh shit,” I said. “Um, you go and I’ll let Chelsea know that you need to cancel and—”
She was shaking her head. “No, no. I can’t cancel same day classes. I either need a sub or I’m screwed.”
“Can Tim do it? He never has people,” I offered.
“Maybe. I’ll have to text him. But he can’t do my self-defense runs.” She bit her lip, but her eyes had relocked on mine in a way that made me take an apprehensive step away. “Ceci—”
“No way.”
“I really need—”
“I have never done this before, Jenny. I’m telling you right now, it’s not something you should ask.”
“Ceci. I really,reallyneed to go. Will you please take my self-defense at noon? You know all the steps. You know exactly what to say. They’re only on the first lesson, you can do it.” She spoke every word like it was a carefully placed piece of a puzzle. Like if she said it just right, I would feel differently about my answer. I was just about to tell her hell no, when her phone chimed again and whatever crossed the screen made her look sick.
“Fuck,” is all I could say as I sighed into my hand.
She rushed me and gave me the second hug of the hour. And as she grabbed a hold of my shoulders I knew she truly meant it when she said, “You’re a life saver.Thank you.
Chapter Twenty-seven
CECI
“Con?”
Grunt.
“Are you busy?”
Silence for four consecutive seconds. “Kind of. Is something wrong?”
Don’t tell me why my throat and nose and every other possible orifice decided to choose this very moment to burn up. But they did. He was more than just distant; he was mad at me. And I didn’t know what to do with that. I released out a few breaths, letting the burning subside. Still, my voice was raw as I said, “Okay.”
“Cee?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s up?”
“I—” Damn, my chest hurt. I just wished he wouldn’t use that tone with me. Like he didn’t know me or he couldn’t be bothered. Like he was done with me, even before we had started. He’d been pushing me away so much lately. Giving me just the bare minimum of himself. He did the same to so many other people, but I had never felt it aimed at me. It made me apprehensive to keep sharing my secret parts so freely. Like if he was withholding, then I should be too. But Connor was my best friend, and so he was the first one I went to when I needed help. Sometimes the only one. So I pushed on. “Jenny asked if I could teach one of her classes last minute and I wanted to go over some things with you. Like a test run. If you’re free.”
I don’t know where the hope in my chest had bloomed from, but it died promptly on the long pause from the other side of the line. I had to swallow down a hitch in my breath as I listened in dawning horror. At first I thought maybe he had just been bullshitting before and he actually would help me. That he may be mad at me, but he would never leave me high and dry.
Some things were harder to be wrong about than others.
“Damn, Cee,” he started, sounding less closed off but still regretful. “I really am busy. I don’t think I can—”
“That’s fine!” I said before I had to listen to him tell me that he couldn’t. For some reason hearing him finish that felt as if it might break me. And I was already feeling fragile with nervousness for what today held. I called him for support, not for a fracture. “I’ll find somebody else to do it. I gotta go okay?”
