I don’t want to whine about my father’s continuing reluctance to accept him as a part of my life. After a month in residence at River Bend, you’d think people would be used to his presence. That has not been the case. He’s doing his level best to ignore it, but the stares and whispers are getting to him.
Saskaya isn’t the type of person you confide in, anyway.
“Would he be willing to join our erstwhile royal guard on his journey to Oceanside? I hear Lorcan is using explosives. Those are always fun.”
“Why not me?”Why isn’t Lorcan rescuing Zosia?
“Because you’re needed at River Bend. Tovian isn’t.”
Sas isn’t wrong. Between distributing food stores to remote villages and farms that managed to survive the invasion, tending the injured in our makeshift infirmary, and setting up the new orphanage, I have my hands full.
“He’s helping me with the orphanage.”
Part of me recoils at the thought of Tovian and Lorcan together. I can’t explain it. I don’t know where it’s coming from. Therapy would probably help me sort it out, despite Sas’ skepticism. And mine.
“I think Lorcan could use some company,” Saskaya says carefully. “Ask him. I gotta run, Sethi is marauding and Tahra isn’t here to watch him.”
She disconnects without saying goodbye.
I stare at the phone in my hand, with its cracked orange case and buttons with the numbers rubbed off. There’s no such thing as planned obsolescence in Auralia. We use everything until it gives out, and even if that weren’t our cultural ethos, we have no means of replacing phones.
Heaving a sigh, I toss the phone on my desk. I wish I hadn’t left my laptop computer in Scotland the night we fled. It would be helpful for tracking food distribution and parents. Instead, we’re doing it all by hand. The old-fashioned way, with paper and pen.
Tovian comes into my room. Warmth sparks in my chest at the sight of him. Red looks good on him. Silver doesn’t suit him quite as well. He deserves a gold crown. But gold is for the Sun Goddess and my people worship Reila the Moon Goddess, so silver it will be.
“How is your scientist friend?”
“Sas is good. Happy to be home.” I lick my lips, debating whether to convey Saskaya’s request. I don’t want him to leave.
“Good.” He sat beside me on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been thinking.”
“About?”
“It’s time for me to go home.”
I suck in a breath. “But…why?”
“My presence here is making your people uncomfortable. I understand why. I’m one more new thing to adjust to when they’re already having to adapt to so much change. Most of it for the worse.”
He’s not wrong.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I squeak. Reila save me, I sound like a mouse.
“No, Sunshine. Of course not. I just think your people need to see you leading by yourself for a while. They’re afraid I’ll come in and start changing things even more. I hoped that if they saw me working alongside you to end this war, they would accept me. That isn’t how things have worked out.”
I go still. He’s right. I do need to prove that I’m a capable leader in my own right. Failing to do that would undermine my rule. One of my sisters or cousins could challenge me. I’m not close to either of my younger sisters. Ulia and Melsi are a decade younger than me. My mother died in childbirth with Melsi, the youngest, and the childish part of me associates her arrival with losing my mom.
It’s too bad there are no therapists in Auralia. I could definitely use one.
“They’ll accept you, Tovi. Eventually. Stay? Please?”
I place my hand on his, braced on his knee like he’s steeling himself for a difficult conversation.
“I’m not giving up. I need to reassure my mother I haven’t gone missing. It’s only for a few weeks, Sunshine.”
“A few weeks of traveling through a country overrun with invaders,” I grumble.
“Exactly how your father felt when you went to Oceanside.” Tovian chuckles.
