She stares at me, slumped in my arms as if she has no strength left. “I slept with you at the party. It was the best night of my life. Did you know I’d been crushing on you for years?”
“No,” I say honestly, my voice coming out as a harsh whisper.
Did you know that I was watching you, too, Lexa?
“When I woke up and you were gone, I thought you’d been called away by official duties, that you didn’t mean to leave me alone. So, I went to your house—”
Her resolve deserts her, and she buries her face in her hands to cry. The napkin falls to the floor, leaving a trail of cake crumbs.
“Shh,” I whisper, hugging her and rubbing her back. “I’m sorry for that. I’m so, so sorry. But there was a reason. I have to tell you—”
My throat closes as the time comes to reveal my guilt. I actually gasp for air, as if my mouth can’t force the words to come out.
“It doesn’t matter,” she hisses. “Not in the grand scheme of things. Because I went home to cry, and he found me. I was only there a matter of minutes before he busted in, grabbed me, and dragged me into the woods. That’s when I saw—I saw—”
The sobs really come now, shaking her whole body, almost ripping her chest apart. She moans as she wraps her arms around her knees and rocks back and forth.
“I saw my mother. Broken, bloodied, dead, discarded in the woods like a piece of garbage. He said he killed her, and the wild animals could have her and tear her apart. I was so scared—”
“He killed her?” I cut in. “Your father killed her?”
Lexa’s tears don’t stop, but when she turns to look at me, her face is frozen with icy calm.
“So he said,” she answers. “But what do you know about it?”
The pain in my chest intensifies, and I know the only way to get through it is to let it out. My breath hisses through my teeth as I try to stay calm, keeping my eyes down just like Lexa did before.
“I was ordered to—I was ordered—”
I collapse forward onto the couch, trying desperately to get my breath back. I can feel Lexa trembling underneath me as she wrestles with her own pain.
Finally, I sit up and look into her eyes. Her tears are drying on her cheeks, and even though her eyes are still shimmering with grief, she looks much calmer now.
“I was ordered to kill your mother,” I say in a raspy voice. “And you.”
Her beautiful, pale gray eyes widen, and her face goes slack with shock.
“By your grandfather?” she asks.
“Yes. I humiliated you in front of the family, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t stand the idea that I might be interested in you. He ordered me to kill you both.”
“And you agreed?” she gasps.
“I had no choice! I went out to your house and found it busted up. I followed your trail, and I found your mother’s body. I had no idea what happened. I didn’t know if you had left or if you were dead, too. The fact that your scent cut off at the streammeant you were probably alive, but I didn’t know if you left willingly or… got chased by the kill squad.”
Lexa stares at me, her eyes wide. She reaches out to stroke my cheek.
“You found Mom?” she asks. “You found her and brought her back?”
“Yes,” I answer. “Grandfather was not happy about it—he wanted your bodies thrown over a cliff. I insisted that she have a proper funeral. Grandfather was in such a hurry to go on his special mission, he didn’t fight me too much over it. He also insisted we find evidence that you were dead and have it for him by the time he returned.”
“But then he was killed,” Lexa murmurs.
“And I lost my chance to find out all the details he gave the kill squad,” I say. “Wick, Bolton, and Slade. They still live out in the woods—they’re very old now. I questioned them, of course, but I couldn’t get much out of them. I was sure they killed your mother, and probably you, too.”
Lexa wipes her face, sniffing a little. “I was so sure that it was Father until I got back here. Then I started to think maybe it was your grandfather, or at least done on his order…”
Her voice trails off, and she won’t look at me. I blink hard, trying to move past the great weight in my chest.
