“After I was born, he finally left Father alone,” Kit continues. “He said I had the makings of a truly great alpha—he could smell it in my blood. But he wasn’t going to let me be polluted by gentle treatment. I had to be honed for the job from day one. I spent most of my time growing up at his house.”
I blink in surprise. “Kit, I had no idea!”
He shrugs. “Anyone who knew about it considered it to be normal. I used to blame my parents, but as I got older, I realized they were terrified of him, just like everyone else was. God knows what he threatened them with to force them to comply.”
I have difficulty absorbing these words. Kit always looked so happy in high school, laughing and joking, being the center of attention. He knew he was going to be alpha and wielded his power with relentless force.
He always acted like he had it made, and his life was a nonstop party. I had no idea he was hiding so much pain.
Kit looks off into the distance, and I study his profile, watching a muscle jump in his jaw. His bright blue eyes are the shade of a troubled, stormy sea. Tension lines stretch across his forehead.
He must be so strong to have borne this alone, to hide it from the entire town. At least I didn’t have to hide a monster. The entire pack knew what my father was.
“So, when he died, you immediately became alpha?” I ask.
He sighs, shaking his head. “It took a few weeks for the council to formally declare him dead. Everyone was reallysuspicious about them going away on holiday and disappearing. We had to actually hire a couple of investigators to track what happened. The wolves who checked it out told us no one could have survived that amount of blood loss and lived.”
“You never found the bodies?”
“No. It made my ascension a little difficult. Loretta tried to claim the position as regent. She said I was too young and Father was unworthy, but she could rule until I was old enough or when it was truly confirmed that Grandfather was dead. But Grandfather’s order was that I would become alpha immediately after his death.”
“How did you resolve this?”
He smiles, and a pale light flashes deep in his eyes. “I threatened to call the alpha’s challenge. I was so close to being free and changing the pack for the better; I wasn’t going to let her take it away from me. I didn’t think she’d back down, but she did. She knew more about Grandfather’s methods than anyone else, even the special missions.”
I can’t speak for a minute. “Special missions?”
Kit looks at me, his face going slack. I keep myself calm, trying not to show my anxiety. For a moment, all we do is stare at each other, the air between us almost boiling with untold secrets.
“Nothing important,” he finally says, looking away.
I drain the last of my coffee, looking around the square furtively as I get up. There is still a bit of a crowd around, and it unnerves me that someone could be easily hiding in it.
I’ve seen no sight, sound, or smell that could indicate my father is here, so why am I freaking out so hard?
Because hecouldbe here.
“Let’s go,” I say to Kit, gesturing towards the doors. “Let’s go get that pizza.”
I try to sound enthusiastic, but my tone falls flat. It’s never been so obvious that both of us are going through the motions, and the awkwardness is almost unbearable.
In spite of this—or maybe because of it—I take Kit’s hand as we walk down the street. He laces his fingers through mine as we walk, smiling at people as we pass them and acting like happy newlyweds. It feels so good that for a while, I let myself believe it just might be true.
Kit’s hand is warm in mine, and when I lean on his shoulder and look up at him, he smiles down at me, his eyes shining with love. I reach up with my other hand and put it on his chest, reminded sharply of the night before, how I pinned him underneath me to take my pleasure.
This was a mistake.
My body is aching now, and by the time we pick up the pizza and walk back to the truck, I’m so horny that I can barely think straight.
The second we get in the car, Kit drops the act. He seems distant and aloof, a low-level tension settling across his shoulders.
Maybe it’s out of desire for me, and he’s making every effort to hold it back.
I don’t know if I love that thought or hate it. My head is starting to ache with the pressure of everything I’ve been through today.
Will I ever feel completely safe? I thought getting married would protect me and give me a place where I could finally be myself. Now I feel more trapped than ever before.
When we get home, Kit carries the pizza inside, and we sit at the table to eat. The silence rings with tension, and I try to think of a way to break it.
