I struggle against the truth of my wolf, not daring to let go of Kit. His touch is addictive, and the hot press of his mouthhas cleared my mind and turned me into a creature of pure sensation.
It’s been so long since I felt this good! It’s been so long since I let my wolf run for joy alone.
I can’t deny the pleasure racing through me, like golden sunlight rushing through my blood. It hums through my muscles and into my skin, a vibration that makes my body sing.
More.
I lean in harder, feeling the heat intensifying between my legs, begging to be satisfied. I’m about to climb into his lap when the full force of what I’m doing hits me like a truck.
This is how I felt when…
When he took me.
I let go of Kit, shoving him away from me now instead of pulling him closer. I scrabble back a little, putting distance between our bodies. For a moment, I just stare at the ground, panting to get my breath back.
My body throbs, a horrible, fierce ache that mingles with the betrayed cry of my wolf. Both demand satisfaction, but I refuse with every fiber of my being, willing my desire to die and my wolf to be at peace.
Kit doesn’t say anything; he just sits on the outcrop, watching me. Again, I get the feeling that there are secrets lurking in his beautiful, bright blue eyes, hidden truths that flash beneath the surface, gone before I can be sure I even saw them.
Maybe I’m just suspicious of everyone. Kit may have nothing to hide, and I just see betrayal and abuse everywhere I look.
I take a deep breath and let it out as a sigh, feeling my body finally release. My muscles tremble a little as the tension drains out of me, the effect of dropping from such a high point of adrenaline to nothing, leaving me shaken and fragile.
“Do you want to go back?” Kit asks.
I nod, not looking up at his face.
He shifts and takes a few steps towards the trees. I call up my wolf, and it’s not as easy as I’d like it to be. The second she takes over, desire lights up again, running through my body with the unbridled passion born of a wild thing.
Kit flicks his tail and runs into the forest, and I follow in hot pursuit. I can’t hold back the wolf’s needs, so I surrender my mind to her again as we run down the mountain. I find myself coming even with Kit and playfully nudging at his shoulder, barking and wagging my tail wildly as we chase each other.
I’m so, so tired of fighting… of being in pain. I have to stop. I have to…
The last of my resolve disappears, and my human mind vanishes. There is nothing but love and joy, a connection to the land and to Kit that transcends the complications of human reasoning.
I never thought I could be so happy.
The run down the mountain doesn’t take very long, and we get back to the graveyard sooner than I’d like.
Can’t we just stay out there, wild and free, forever? I don’t want to come back here, to a world of pain, doubt, and loss…
As my human shape takes over, my wolf gives me control, and the second my thoughts return to me, I’m full of conflict again.
I get dressed, keeping one eye on Kit the whole time. He doesn’t try to sneak glances at me, which I appreciate.
If he really was using me, surely he’d use his gaze like a weapon, just like Vince would. It’s one thing to have a guy look at you, and quite another for him to look at you with intent to harm.
Vince could make me feel like I’d been violated by just looking me up and down. It didn’t matter if I was naked or not—his eyes carried the weight of his intent, and I know there are plenty of men in the world who can make a woman feel that dirty, just with a glance.
And Kit’s not one of them.
“Are you ready?” he asks, startling me just a little.
Nodding, I follow him down the path to the gates, where I see his truck parked in front of the cemetery.
Kit opens the door for me, and I climb into the passenger seat, feeling the silence growing thicker around us. If Kit was respecting my need for quiet, that would be a good thing, but I’m sensing tension in him that means he’s holding back as well.
But how do I even start a conversation like that? “Hey, it totally sucked how you dumped me right after I gave my heart and soul to you. Then I got kidnapped and abused by my dad for years.
