Mom takes the chair nearest to Dad as Raine and Shannon sit across from him. His nurse and Nonni both watch in awe, tears filling their eyes, as Dad looks at everyone in the room, as if he can’t believe we’re real.
“Thank you for being here,” he finally says, and then his eyes land on mine. He gives me a nod, a small smile tugs on his dry lips, and I’m not sure what to do with myself.
One second, I’m rooted here, trapped in this delicate moment between my family and all the unsaid things in the air, and the next, I feel a familiar presence slide up beside me.
Olivia wraps her arms around me, pulling me in like she already knew I needed her before I even did. My body doesn’t hesitate as I lean into her, feeling as if I’ve been holding myself up too long, and finally, someone gave me permission to let go.
After a few minutes, we each take turns having a private moment with my dad. Shannon’s turn is last, and while she’s with him, Nonni makes us some tea while Olivia and I fill my mom and Raine in on everything that happened during the weekend—everything but the fact that we were fake dating, of course. Even though Raine already knew that detail, she kept it to herself.
Once Shannon enters the living room, my dad is wheeled in after her by his nurse, and he admits to needing a nap after everything. Knowing that Olivia and I need to hit the road soon, we take this opportunity to say our goodbyes. He looks a bit worse than he did this morning, but he still manages a bright smile as Olivia and I approach him.
“Hey, son.” His voice sounds feeble and raspy. “Are you guys about to head out?”
“Yeah. Olivia and I both have to work in the morning. We need to get back at a decent hour.”
He nods knowingly, sadness reflecting in his eyes. “Thank you—” His voice breaks as he attempts to cough away the emotions. “I’m thankful for this weekend. You gave me so many blessings. Something I never thought was possible for someone like me.”
I bend down to give him a hug, taking in his scent of flowery detergent. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling the swell of grief squeezing against my throat.
“I’m glad we had this time together,” he adds softly into myear before I pull away to look at him. I take in his dark eyes, his stringy gray hair, the grin on his face. He reaches up and, as my mom had done before, gives me a pat on my cheek.
Something I realized this weekend is that some people love in the only way that they know how. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s not in the way we need. This was the case between my dad and me, but now that I’m on the journey toward healing, I can look back and see little glimpses of how he was trying to love me.
On the nights he stayed as sober as he could handle and we would make a Chef Boyardee box pizza together. When he would encourage me to help him fix whatever vehicle he was working on at the time. The times he’d pop on a movie and have me sit down to watch it with him. He loved me in the ways he knew how at the time. Now that I’ve forgiven him, the chaos of the past feels quieter, and the pieces of light are easier to find.
It won’t ever change the past, but it’s helping to change my heart.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Olivia
The road stretches out in front of us as we travel home. The first hour into our drive is strangely quiet with both of us needing some time to decompress after the long weekend. Luke keeps his hand woven within mine as I stroke the top of his with my thumb, a silent gesture reminding him that I am here for him.
By the second hour, I have had enough of the quiet and decide to turn on my happy playlist. Eventually, both of us began to sing along to the lyrics. Luke’s baritone hits my ears so softly I can barely hear him over the music.
His fingers tap against the steering wheel to the beat. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled to his elbows, revealing his brawny forearms that I keep staring at. He turns his head to meet my eyes, giving me a flirty grin, and a jolt of heat strikes me.
“What?”
“Just remembering that you twerked with my Nonni,” he says, his grin transforming into a smirk.
A loud laugh escapes me. “That’s what you’re over there grinning about?” I slap his shoulder playfully.
Luke observes me, up and down, reminding me of a lion about to pounce. He’s never looked at me like that before. It’s as if he’s plotting the path he wants his lips to take—every single spot he’d stop and enjoy.
My skin tingles in all the places his eyes have touched during this long drive together, a lingering electricity that’s clinging to the air between us that hasn’t been there before. I’m both excited and terrified to see what will happen the moment we’re home.
“It’s one of the many things that happened this weekend that will forever live rent free in my head.”
I peek up at him through my lashes and see that he’s adoringly focused on me, a smirk lifting the corner of his lips, before he returns his eyes to the road, like he, too, was thinking about the kisses we’ve shared over the last twenty-four hours.
We were supposed to go back to normal after we left his Nonni’s house. That was our unspoken deal. I had planned on laughing it off, brushing away the comments, and going back to being best friends.
Now, my lips still tingle, his kisses imprinted on them forever, and my stomach is one big knot of what-ifs.
What ifthis ends up ruining everything?What ifwe go back and things are weird and awkward and heavy with the weight of everything we haven’t said out loud? Oh no, we still need to have a talk about all of this. The reminder causes the knot in my stomach to grow tighter.
“What are you thinking about, Cupcake?” he asks, shifting his focus from the road and back to me.
