“Good morning,” I whisper, smiling back at her.
As if my words awoke her from a daze, I watch as the sleepy haze leaves her eyes, and her body stiffens next to mine. It feels as if the tiny step forward we took towardmoreis being yanked away.
“You drooled all over my arm,” I say playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
She wipes away the wetness from her mouth, and I laugh at her horrified expression. She pushes herself up into a seated position on the bed, her hair becoming a curtain around her. I reach up, pushing it back behind her ear, and she stiffens again.
“It’s fine, Liv. We all drool.” I point at my pillow, where a small puddle was formed and is slowly drying. This gets a smile out of her that feels like a small victory.
“Well, you pass gas in your sleep,” she adds, settling back onto the bed.
She scrunches her nose, and I find it irresistible. I reach out and tug her to me, tickling her sides, enjoying the way a snort escapes her as she laughs.
“I do not!”
“Do too. Ah!” she squeals and places her hands onto my chest.
The heat from her hands feels as if they’re on fire. I stop tickling her and lean over her, our faces so close together that our breaths combine. If she were officially mine, I’d kiss her right now. Her eyes dip to my lips, just for a second, before she looks up at me. Is this a green light? Because she must be thinking the same thing.
Before I can act, her alarm starts playing again, breaking the moment.
She jumps off the bed, silencing it before rushing into the bathroom. I follow Olivia, her piercing green eyes watching me closely as I stand next to her and gather my toothbrush andtoothpaste. I give her a wink in the mirror reflection, and she averts her eyes as we brush our teeth together.
“I think I’m going to go for a run this morning,” I announce once we’re done rinsing our mouths.
I need an excuse to burn off whatever I’m experiencing right now, fearing that I’m pushing our boundaries a little too much. I guess harboring feelings for years will do that to someone. There isn’t a gym nearby, so running is the only exercise I can choose right now.
“I need to burn off all of the extra calories from this weekend,” I say instead of the truth, smirking when she bumps her shoulder into mine.
“Like it’ll even hurt you. You’re rock solid.” She slaps my stomach, her fingers lingering for a second before her smile falls, and she snatches her hand away and retreats into the bedroom.
We both take turns using the bathroom to get ready for the day. Once we’re done, we make our way into the living room where most of the family is gathering. Emma ambles toward me, her blonde hair pulled into cute pigtails, and she’s bundled up like Randy inA Christmas Story.
“It’s a Christmas miracle!” her little voice squeals, reminding me so much of my niece, Annabelle.
“What is?” I ask, eyeing my family, who is all beaming at us.
My brow raises, and I glance over at Olivia, who shrugs her shoulders and looks back at Emma. Emma is clapping her hands together and points behind us, toward where the front door sits.
“It snowed.”
“Really?!” My ears ring as Olivia shouts, taking Emma into her arms, and rushes over to the window.
I follow them to take a peek, and sure enough, it snowed. The sun is rising, the light illuminating the snow, which flickers like twinkling stars before us. I peer up and see glistening icicles hanging from the roof. They send fragments of colorful lightacross the blanket of white. The whole neighborhood looks like the inside of a snow globe.
I go for my run while everyone else stays back at the house. Olivia and some of the family decide to play in the snow together. I’m thankful that she gets along well with everyone and that she’s comfortable with being herself around them. Oddly enough, that even includes my dad.
“Hard Fought Hallelujah” by Brandon Lake is blasting through my earbuds, a song that is stirring my soul a little extra with everything I’ve been dealing with lately, as my sides start burning. My lungs are aching from the cold air, and I work through it because this is exactly what I need. I’m sure I’ll regret it tomorrow, but right now I’m grateful for it.
I push myself harder, wanting to drown out the insecurities and emotions that have been crowding my thoughts and replace it with physical pain. It sounds crazy—I know—but it’s how I cope when life becomes hard.
I try to envision myself leaving my messy thoughts and feelings behind me, and with every step against the pavement, it takes me further and further away from them. I don’t stop until I can feel my heart and mind start to clear.
I’ve only been gone for maybe forty-five minutes, doing a full lap around the neighborhood, until I can finally see my grandmother’s house ahead of me. I slow down to a walk, placing my hands on top of my head, attempting to control my breathing. Olivia sees me first, smiling brightly as she gives me a wave.
“There he is,” she says, her smile widening, seeming more like the Cheshire cat, and before I have time to react, she tosses a snowball at me, hitting me right in the face.
She bursts into laughter, my family joining her, as Emma shouts, “Snowball fight!”
