Luke’s Uncle Leo walks into the kitchen, catches sight of Jerrica and me, and immediately walks away. This gets a laugh out of Luke, a sound I feel in every place we’re touching—his hand in mine, his other hand on my hip, how his shoulder bumps into mine as he moves closer to me.
“All I want for Christmas is you!” I sing loudly, pointing to his chest and smiling brightly at him.
The heated look he gives me makes the hairs on the back of my neck stick up, a shiver runs down my spine, and warmth gathers low in my belly. This look feels unfamiliar, and yet I find myself enjoying it way more than I should.
“You look beautiful like this,” he adds softly, his voice a bit strained, and I wonder if it has ever been like that before, in the past, and I just never noticed. It’s as if fake dating each other has allowed me to peek through a window where I can see this new version of him, and I’m not sure how I missed it for so long.
“Like what?” I ask, searching the room to see if Jerrica is nearby, but she’s digging into one of those popcorn tins that has different flavors inside.
“Being yourself.”
My mouth falls open. Not at his words but more at the flirty tone behind them. Luke has never talked to me like this, and I’m realizing I’ve been missing out. There’s something about his voice. It’s almost intoxicating, like the first bite of a steaming-warm brownie.
The feeling I was enjoying a second ago vanishes and isreplaced with awareness. We’re crossing the friendship line. My brain understands that the flirting is all for show, but my heart is starting to enjoy this too much. This is a treacherous game we’re playing, and my nervous system is kicking in.
Suddenly, it’s scalding hot in this kitchen. I let go of his hand and reach up to pull my hair up off my neck. My skin is stretched too tight, and the soft sound of Christmas music and quiet murmurings of Luke’s family in the next room becomes too loud, which is new to me because I love a constant stream of noise. It normally comforts me, but right now everything is too much.
Luke senses the shift in my mood and releases the hold he has on my hip. He gives me an apologetic smile and takes a step back. I’m thankful for the space, and I put more between us as I make my way into the living room. Jerrica and Luke follow close behind me.
“Okay. Now that all of you are here, let's talk about the festivities we’ll be doing this weekend,” Nonni announces, and I turn to look at Luke, a brow rising in question because he never told me the details of ‘the festivities.’ He shrugs his shoulders, a playful grin tugging on his lips.
“We do the same thing each year,” Luke’s cousin Rebecca hollers as she bounces her one-year-old son in her lap.
A few family members agree with her, but Nonni waves everyone off. “Oh hush, these traditions are important. Now listen up.”
This completely changes my mood, and I find myself feeling giddy, clapping my hands together, smiling so wide my face hurts. I love traditions, and the fact that Christmas came early this year has me all warm and fuzzy inside, which I appreciate since I was in dismay only seconds ago.
“Today we decorate the tree together, and then afterward, we will put on our ugly Christmas sweaters for the family portrait. If you didn’t bring a sweater, that’s okay. I have some extras.”
Luke groans, which makes me laugh. “Your grandmother keeps back-up ugly Christmas sweaters?”
“She takes Christmas traditions very seriously,” he replies, rolling his eyes.
“I saw that eye roll, Luke,” his grandmother snaps, earning another laugh from me.
“She wasn’t even looking at you. How’d she know?”
Luke leans in closer to me and whispers, “Nonni sees everything.”
Luke’s grandmother continues, “After dinner we’ll bake some Christmas cookies for everyone to decorate, and we’ll enjoy them while we watch a movie together. Tomorrow we will have our gingerbread house competition?—”
An excited squeal escapes me, and everyone in the room twists their heads my way, some smiling and others squinting judgingly at me. I whisper, “Sorry,” and sink beside Luke, who wraps his arm around my shoulder. I force myself to relax under his touch, even though all I can focus on is his body pressed against me and how I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am.
“I like your excitement, Olivia. Once the sun sets, we’ll enjoy the neighborhood Christmas festival.”
“But that’s usually only during the week of Christmas.” Jerrica’s brows furrow together in confusion.
“Yes, but everyone was able to make an exception this year and are happy to put on the festival for this weekendandnext.”
I look around the room at the saddened understanding on each face. It fills me with sorrow for them, Luke included. Even if Davis hasn’t been the nicest human to be around, it’s still sad watching a family member counting down the last of their days. It makes me thankful that Luke agreed to come here and be with them and for bringing me along to experience this with him.
While Nonni is distracted with a question, I take theopportunity to lean over and ask Luke, “Did your family ever see the bad side of Davis?”
His brows draw in confusion, “What do you mean?”
“Everyone seems to really care and is heartbroken over his cancer. It makes me curious about how the rest of the family views your dad.”
He nods his head, understanding written on his expression. “Only his immediate family saw that side of him. He did a great job putting on a show for everyone else during the holidays. They’ve heard stories, I’m sure, but none of them have personal experience dealing with who my dad used to be. They still care for him. It’s why we’re doing this whole thing earlier to be with him.”
