“I’m telling you, ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’is by far the ultimate Christmas song.”
“‘Last Christmas’ by Wham!is a classic, though,” Ryland adds before running a hand through his beard but frowns once he sees the glitter on his hand. He looks over at me again, and I take a bite of food to hide my grin.
“Oh, the Backstreet Boys’version is my favorite,” Olivia continues before scooping her last bite of macaroni and cheese into her mouth.
“Mine too. And ‘Happy Holidays’ by *NSYNC. Nowthoseare classics,” Zane adds, earning a fit of laughter from Olivia.
I’d never admit it to anyone, but I’m envious of the way Zane can effortlessly make Olivia laugh. I can see why the rumor mill gets so amped up anytime they're together in town. They're both lighthearted and quirky.
I have the briefest thought that maybe they should date. They seem perfect for one another, but the idea curdles in my stomach before it fully forms. I shove it down and tell myself it’s just the protective-best-friend thing. That’s all it is. Even though, deep down, I know that’s a lie I’ve been living with for years. Because the truth is, I hate the thought of her with anyone who isn’t me. And I have no right to feel that way—not after what I did.
I watch them for a second as they go back and forth about the topic, and I know with every fiber of my being that I would do anything to receive the smile she gives Zane.
Have I ever made her smile like that?
Maybe theyshoulddate. Surely I could survive that and be okay with it. She leans into him, placing her head onto his shoulder as her body shakes from laughter, and my fists clench involuntarily. Okay, maybe Iwouldn't survive it.
“Everything okay?” Raine asks me, giving my ribs a nudge with her elbow. I turn to her as she points to my face. “Your face says you’re not.”
I shrug. “It’s been a long week,” I reply and shove another bite of food into my mouth.
“Those are not classics. Your taste in music worries me,” Ryland says jokingly, shaking his head in disappointment.
This leads to a long discussion that I tune out as I finish my meal. We end the night with ice cream and a few rounds ofUNOuntil Annabelle dozes off in Raine’s arms. Ryland stands and goes to pick Annabelle up, but Zane stops him.
“I can take her home if you’d like. She can spend the night with me. I have the extra booster seat still in my truck.”
“Are you sure?” Ryland asks.
“Yes,” Zane says before taking Annabelle into his arms.
“Alright. Thanks.” Ryland gives his brother a nod of appreciation.
“Thank you for dinner. I’ll see y'all later.” Zane gives us a wave as he looks down at Olivia to give her a small wink before walking toward the front door.
There is a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. I shouldn’t feel this way. Zane has always been a loyal friend and good to Olivia. I should want her to end up with a guy like him. Someone who’d make her laugh all the time and keep her smiling like she has this evening. She’s not mine to get jealous over.
I sigh in relief once we hear Zane’s truck making its way down the driveway. Raine shouts out “Uno!” for the third time, because she always seems to win, but I also never try really hard at this game. It's not technical enough to keep me distracted. I even put down the wrong color at one point because I wasn’t paying attention.
Raine perks up, and she asks, “Do you all have any special plans?”
“Plans for what?” I ask.
“For Christmas,” Raine replies.
Olivia looks at me for a second before adding, “Luke and I are going to his grandmother’s Christmas next weekend.”
My body freezes at her words.
“Oh. You're going together?” Raine pauses, and even though I’m squeezing my eyes shut, I sense that she’s staring at me. “I thought she usually schedules that during the weekend around Christmas?”
Olivia’s eyes widen once she puts two and two together. “You didn’t tell her yet?” Olivia scolds me.
“Tell me what?” Raine questions, sitting up straighter in her seat.
I exhale, running a hand down my face a second time. “My dad has cancer. He’s on hospice at my grandmother's. She wanted to move up the Christmas thing so the family could be with him.”
I hadn’t wanted to bring it up to anyone, so no, I did not tell her yet. I try to read Raine’s expression, but she’s focused on Ryland. His eyes dance over her face, searching for the same answers I’d like to know. Because if anyone can relate to how I’m feeling right now, it would be her. And maybe it’s good that this was brought up, because I’ll finally have someone to take my side in this.
