He removes his arms from around me and twists until he can see me. “How do you know?” He raises his brows.
“Because she told me,” I proclaim and give him a small smile. “The last time I came to visit, we were watchingThe Golden Girls,and you got up to help your mom with something. Nan turned to me and told me she was thankful that the doctors gave her a heads up about her possibly leaving us. It gave her a chance to say goodbye and help prepare everyone. She seemed at peace with it all.”
I remember how weak she looked during that last visit. She mainly slept the last days away, but she was having an unusually good day during my last moments with her. I’m forever thankful for it and for her sharing that with me.
We swish our feet through the water below us, the temperature not feeling as cold anymore. “I had a dream about her last night,” he says, bumping his foot into mine.
“What about?”
He exhales, turning to face the water, his mind in another place. “I was sitting right here, on the dock, and she took a seat next to me and told me everything was going to be okay. I somehow knew it was a dream, but it felt so real, especially when she reached over and gave me a hug. I could even smell her perfume. It was surreal.”
When his eyes find mine, he studies me closely before adding, “Want to decipher that one?”
I stay quiet for a moment and ponder on his question. “I know you miss her. It could be why you dreamt that. But maybe she was also visiting you in a way. She wants you to be okay.”
“It’s not easy.” he admits, his eyes dancing with my own.
A light breeze is blowing, cooling the warmth in the air and bringing a scent of the water and fresh grass with it. After a few moments of silence, I add, “I don’t think losing someone is supposed to be easy. Remember what they said at her funeral? That even Jesus wept with those who were mourning.” I reach a hand out and move his hair away from his forehead. “But do you know why he was mourning? It wasn’t because someone died.”
I let my fingers travel down his cheek, tracing the edge of his jawline before landing on his shoulder. He watches me closely, waiting for me to continue.
“He wept because he had to bring someone back to Earth. They were in heaven, walking the streets of gold where there’s no such thing as pain or grief. And Jesus took them away from heaven and brought them backhere. If we could see what heaven is like, I don’t think anyone would want to come back to Earth. And when you think of it that way, it helps put things into perspective.”
My Mamaw shared that with me on our way home from Nan’s funeral. It has stuck with me ever since, and in a way, it helps me with my own grief. I pray now that it can bring a sense of comfort to Ryland like it has to me.
The moonlight casts shadows onto Ryland’s face but helps highlight just how breathtaking he is. His mouth opens slightly, his dark brows raising up his forehead, and his eyes widen as my words sink into his heart. His lips touch, tilting upward into a grin, before he shifts and lays back against the dock.
I mimic him and lie down too, making sure my hand is intertwined with his. We stare up at the stars, watching them twinkle, a huge galaxy full of questions staring down at us. We’re just two teenagers trying to learn how to navigate this thing called life. And I’m thankful we’re able to do it together.
“I think that’s what she was trying to tell me in my dream,” he finally says, breaking the silence.
“I think so too,” I agree. “We have limited time here. She has forever. To her, it must feel like a quick and simple blink before it’s our time to join her in heaven. She won’t have any time to miss us.”
Ryland moves until he’s hovering over me. He keeps his body sitting on the dock, but his arms are on either side of my head. “Thank you. You always know what to say to make me feel better.” He lowers himself down until his nose brushes mine and all thoughts vanish and are replaced with the thumping of my heart. His eyes travel over my face before they land on my lips.
“Since we have limited time on Earth, I refuse to waste another second not kissing you.”
He moves his lips closer, barely touching the sensitive skin, while his eyes lock onto mine with a silent question. I nod, letting him know it’s okay, before his lips touch my own. My eyes flutter shut as I rake my fingers through his thick strands and pull him closer to me. It’s a sweet kiss. One that says so many things.
Ryland moves back just a touch, keeping his nose a few centimeters from my face. He runs his hand through my hair, cupping my jaw, and smiling down at me. “I love you.”
His voice is strained, and I wonder how often it’s been like that in the past, how many times I didn’t notice. Now that I know he loves me, I can see the evidence in everything he does. I’m not sure how I missed it for so long.
His confession makes warmth spread throughout my stomach. I smile as his words sink deeply into my heart. I want to carry them with me always and remind myself of the truth in them.
“I love you too.”
“I promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to give you the life that you deserve.”
As if my chest couldn’t swell any more, it proves me wrong with the growing tightness. My smile, however, falters with his sweet confession. It’s such a huge thing to say, coming from a seventeen-year-old, but I know he means it.
“And I’ll do the same for you.”
He smiles, bending down to place soft kisses all over my face and neck. I giggle, pushing his chest until he hovers over me again. “Then we have an agreement. We’ll make the most of our limited time here. And we’ll do it together.”
“Together,” I agree, the words leaving my lips, a promise I intend to keep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
