"Easy Alisha, you're drinking it like soda," Emma says, maternal instinct kicking in even with her massive baby bump.She shifts on the couch, one hand protectively on her belly."Tell us what's wrong before getting drunk enough to text him."
"I would never—" Three pairs of knowing eyes fix on me."Okay, fine, I might."
"Oh, let's face it, girl.Cole is hot."Bella's voice rises with each word, that telltale sign she's feeling her wine."Not as smoking as my Nick, because when he gets naked—"
"Ew.Stop it!"Amanda covers her ears."You're talking about my brother.There are things I can't unhear!"
We burst into laughter, the kind that only comes after good wine and better friendship.Amanda's face contorts in such dramatic disgust that it sets off another round of giggles.
When we finally catch our breath, she steers us back to the matter at hand."So, does your question have to do with Bulldozer?"
I sit next to Bella, placing my glass on the table with exaggerated care.The room's already starting to feel warmer, softer around the edges.I blow out a long breath, buying time.
Emma, ever the perceptive one, throws me a lifeline."Nick told me the relationship between Cole and Samantha is improving?"
My face splits into a grin I couldn't hide if I tried.The wine makes my chest feel expansive, full of things I usually keep locked away."Yeah, since they began cooking together, everything's changed.They talk now, really talk.And he..."I swallow against a sudden thickness in my throat."He arranged for her mother's ashes to be brought here, so she can have a place in Boston Cemetery."
"See?"Bella clutches her wine glass to her chest like it's evidence in court."Your grumpy bear isn't just hot, he has an enormous heart.What more do you want in a man?"
My hands fly to my face, trying to hide the blush I can feel burning across my cheeks."He's not mine, Bella."
"Girl."Amanda's voice takes on that tone she uses when she's about to drop truth bombs."You've wanted him since day one.Remember what you said after that first training session?That he could probably make you come with just—"
"Oh god."I groan into my hands as they howl with laughter."I never get embarrassed.What is happening to me?"
The wine.It's definitely the wine.Or maybe it's the way Cole looks at me sometimes, like he can see straight through my walls to the scared, wanting parts of me I try so hard to hide.
Okay, I need a solution, so let's do this.I sit up straight—well, as straight as I can manage after three glasses of wine—and grab my glass again.The room has that pleasant fuzzy quality now, like everything's wrapped in warm velvet.
"After what the piece of shit did to me in the alley," my voice wavers slightly, the wine making me braver but not numbing the memory completely, "I've freaked out every time a man has touched me.But something changed..."
The girls lean forward so fast Emma nearly topples off the couch.Their faces are flushed from wine and anticipation.
"Now there's one man my body doesn't reject."The words come out in a rush, slurring slightly at the edges.
"OH MY GOD, COLE?"They screech in unison, loud enough to wake my neighbors.I nod, my head feeling heavier than usual, and their squeals reach glass-shattering pitch.
"So you're attracted to him."Bella's voice has that sing-song quality it gets when she's tipsy."Why's that a problem?"She tries to prop her chin on her hand and nearly misses.
I take another generous swig of wine, liquid courage burning down my throat."Because last night—" I giggle, actually giggle, "—instead of having a night terror, I had a wet dream about him."The words tumble out faster now, looser."And not just any dream.It was so real I could taste him, feel him, smell him..."
"Details!"Amanda demands, her voice several decibels too loud.She attempts to pour more wine but Emma intercepts the bottle.
"He had me against the wall in the gym," I continue, my filter completely dissolved by pinot noir."And his hands were everywhere, and his mouth was—" I fan myself with both hands, nearly knocking over my glass."Is it hot in here?"
"Girl."Bella's trying to look serious but can't quite manage it."You've got it BAaaaad."
"I knooow," I whine, flopping back dramatically on the couch."And that's not even the worst part.Today in training, he took off his shirt and I swear to drunk Jesus my ovaries exploded."
Emma snorts water through her nose while Amanda and Bella collapse into a pile of drunken giggles.
"His abs," I continue, gesturing wildly with my hands, "they're like...like...you could grate cheese on them.And his shoulders?Don't even get me started on his shoulders.They're broader than my future."
"So what's the actual problem?"Amanda asks, her words starting to slur together."Other than the fact you're obviously dying of thirst?"
I try to sit up straighter but end up listing to one side."The problem is," I poke my finger in her general direction, missing slightly, "I can't stop thinking about him.When he's near me, my skin gets all tingly and my brain gets all mushy and my..."I wave my hand vaguely at my body, "...everything gets all hot."
"Sounds like more than just attraction to me," Emma says with that knowing mom-to-be smile.
