"I'm going to be straight with you, Carmen."
She meets my gaze steadily, and I force myself to hold it."I love your son," I say, the words coming straight from my heart."He's the strongest, most caring man I've ever met.But the bomb you threw at him last week?"My voice catches slightly."It inflicted severe emotional damage."
Carmen's perfectly maintained composure cracks.Her eyes grow glassy, her lower lip trembling.Emotions swirl through my chest – sympathy warring with anger – but I push forward.Cole needs someone to speak his truth.
"Your son carries a truckload of demons that torture him every day."I lean forward, lowering my voice."And I'm going to share the most important one with you.It's about his piano talent.I doubt he told you the real reason he refuses to play."
Carmen swallows hard, her hands moving to grip each other on the table.The late afternoon sun streaming through the window catches the tremor in her fingers.
"It isn't Cole's stubbornness keeping him from the piano."I pause, making sure my words land."The real reason he hasn't played in fifteen years is that he blames himself for his father's death.He believes that if he hadn't left that night at the concert hall, his father might still be alive.That guilt..."My voice softens."It makes it impossible for him to play."
The color drains from Carmen's face.Her mouth opens and closes, but no sound emerges.The weight of this revelation seems to physically press her back in her chair.Taking advantage of her silence, I ask the question that's been burning inside me since I learned the truth.
"Why did you offer Jessica that money?"My fingers tighten around my coffee cup."Why didn't you let Cole deal with the situation himself?"
A long breath escapes her lungs, rattling slightly.She takes a careful sip of tea, her hand shaking as she sets the cup back on its saucer.When she speaks, her voice carries the weight of fifteen years of justifications.
"Gregory's death had a profound impact on me."Carmen’s gaze grows distant, lost in painful memories."The grief consumed me.And when Jessica came by saying she was pregnant..."She shakes her head."The immediate fear of losing my son kicked in hard.I convinced myself she was after his money.To test my theory, I offered her the check, told her Cole had a bright future and wasn't ready to be a parent.Said it was best for both of them this way."
Carmen stares into nothingness, her perfectly manicured nails tapping an anxious rhythm on the table's surface."When Jessica ripped up the check and left, I started doubting my actions.For two weeks, I hated myself.I was ready to tell Cole the truth, but then..."Her voice cracks."Then she called back, saying she needed the money.Her words convinced me I had been right all along – that the child wasn't Cole's, that it was a scam.That's why I made her sign the confidentiality agreement before sending the money.I wanted to make sure she wouldn't bother us anymore."
Her shoulders sag as she continues, each word seeming to age her."I lived with that certainty for fifteen years.But when Cole came by that morning and revealed the truth..."She presses her fingers to her temples."My heart shattered.He told me Jessica's fifteen-year-old daughter was his.His daughter."Her voice breaks on the word."The fear of his reaction paralyzed me, kept me from confessing right then.Until that dinner at my house."
She looks up, and for a moment, I see the musician's mother instead of the polished socialite."When I saw Samantha play the piano, she had that same focus Gregory and Cole used to have.It was beautiful and fascinating to watch, but the guilt..."She shakes her head."It became unbearable.I had to tell him what I'd done."
Tears spill down Carmen's cheeks as she glances out the window.The afternoon light catches them, making them glitter like accusations."I know I'm a monster.Because of my fear and self-centered actions, Cole lost fifteen years of his daughter's life."Her voice drops to a whisper."I'll never forgive myself for that.I don't expect him to either; I don't deserve it."
My own eyes burn as she continues."But you have to understand, Alisha.After Gregory died, I was in an awful place.Even through our struggling marriage, he was the love of my life.To have your loved one taken away in a blink of an eye..."She draws a shuddering breath."It does something to you.I didn't even get to say goodbye."
The raw pain in her voice strikes a chord in me.I find myself reaching across the table, my hand covering hers before I can think better of it.She looks at our joined hands with surprise, then asks the question that must have haunted her for years.
"Why did Jessica take the money when she knew Cole was the father?Why didn't she ignore my words and search for him to tell him the truth?"
I raise an eyebrow, unable to keep the edge from my voice."Uh, you know you can come across like a very authoritative, strong, opinionated woman?"
She bows her head, staring at the table."God, I failed as a mother."Her fingers tighten around mine."But I love my son."
A shadow falls across our table, blocking the afternoon sun.My heart stutters as I look up, finding myself staring into Cole's piercing blue eyes.The massive bouquet in his hand – red roses, white lilies, pink and burgundy carnations – suddenly seems like an accusation rather than a gift.
"Cole?"His name comes out as a whisper.
Jeremy appears behind him, speaking rapidly, but Cole's laser-sharp focus is fixed on our joined hands.I quickly pull away from Carmen, shaking my head, trying desperately to explain without words.But when his eyes finally meet mine, I freeze.The warmth I've grown to expect, to need, is gone, replaced by a blank wall that terrifies me more than anger ever could.
The bouquet drops to the pavement with a soft thud, petals scattering like my hopes, and then he's gone, leaving only the echo of his retreating footsteps and the crushing weight of misunderstanding in his wake.
No, no, please.
I launch myself from the chair, my heart thundering against my ribs.The diner seems to have filled with people – too many people – blocking my path to the door.Panic claws at my throat as I try to weave through the crowd, using my elbows when politeness won't suffice.
"Excuse me...please, I need to..."My voice sounds strange in my ears, desperate and thin.
Finally breaking free of the diner, I stumble onto the sidewalk.The sudden brightness makes me squint, the afternoon sun emerging from behind the clouds at the worst possible moment.I spin in place, scanning the street for Cole's tall frame, but the sidewalks are crowded with the usual afternoon rush.
"Cole!"His name tears from my throat, raw and pleading.A few heads turn, but not the one I need to see."Cole!"
People stare as they pass, some with curiosity, others with pity, but I barely register them.My hands tremble as I push my hair back from my face, trying to think past the panic.He couldn't have gotten far.He couldn't have...
"Alisha."Carmen's voice comes from behind me, gentle but urgent."Jeremy followed Cole.So wherever he is, he's not alone."
