She chuckled, low and throat, full of promise. “Oh, no, I have been. Poor baby. We’ll have to do something about that.”
His belly tightened pleasantly. “Yeah. Alright.”
She kissed the corner of his jaw, lingering and warm, and he knew he’d have a lipstick print there.
Then she pulled back, suddenly. “Oh! You’ll never guess. I have to show you something.” She leaned away from him so she could search through her bag. She came out holding something small and plastic that she brandished with a flourish, smile achingly wide. She giggled like a thrilled little girl.
It was a name tag, he saw. With her name, and the title of manager, and a little bell logo.
“For real? He gave you the job?”
“No interview or anything!” She laughed again, emotion glimmering in her eyes. She dropped her gaze a moment, traced a fingertip across her name in shiny new all-caps. “Can you believe it?”
He smiled, full of warmth and true gladness. “Absolutely I can, yeah.”
She lifted her head, brow quirked.
“You deserve this. You earned it.”
“Ha.” Her brightness dimmed, like the sun going behind a cloud. “You suck enough dick, you eventually get a job offer, I guess,” she tried to joke, her smile wry – resigned.
“No.” His voice firmed, drawing a startled glance from her. He could feel his jaw set; feel his pulse give a hard, sure throb. This was something that hadn’t changed since his first night with her – that first awful night that had started heated, and slick, and impossible, and thrilling, there with Tango…and had ended with Jazz choking, and Carter ready to strangle Aidan in turn. He’d never felt so wildly protective of someone, not ever, not even when his stupid, misguided teenage heart had found itself fluttering in Ava’s direction. Seeing strong, tough, sex-on-legs Jazz shrink back from a man in fear – the very idea that someone as willing and friendly as her should have to feel fear from a man – had left him damn near murderous.
He still felt that way, even if other things had grown hazy and tangled.
“It’s alright,” she said, quietly, laying a hand on his knee.
He wondered if his protectiveness had ever scared her; if she’d wanted to shrink away from the anger that boiled up in her defense. “No, it’s not. You earned that job because you’re loyal to the club; because you run the clubhouse, and the club girls, and you get shit done. Maybe Maggie’s the queen, or whatever, but the Lean Dogs couldn’t function without you. If anybody gives you any bullshit aboutsucking dickto get that job…” His hands curled to fists.
“Send ‘em to you?” she asked with a little smirk – one that quickly melted into a truer, softer look. “You’re a sweet boy, and I appreciate it, but you don’t have to go to bat for me, darlin’.”
“Yeah, I really do.”
Gently, she said, “No, it’s okay. I’m not your old lady.”
He started to protest – and she rested a finger against his lips.
“Hush,” she said, her smile soft, her voice sweet. “It’s not your fault. It’s not like you haven’t tried.”
But he’d failed, he guessed. They more or less lived together, and they slept together, and she’d shown up to one of Maggie’s big dinners at the farm on the back of his bike, but it wasn’t official, was it? No ring, no tat, no heartfelt declaration of love. He’d not rescued her from kidnappers, or killed for her. Nor knelt at her feet and offered her forever.
He was a quarterback, but not really, not anymore. He was a Lean Dog, but not an essential one. No reputation, no striking of fear into enemies’ hearts. And he was her old man – but not really. No one saw him as that.
The story of Carter Michaels was a story ofalmost. Ofnice try. Of obscurity and inadequacy.
Sometimes he wondered why he ever bothered trying. Anything.
“Hey,” she said, and cupped his chin. “It’s alright. We’re alright.”
He swallowed, and it hurt.
“Take me to dinner, huh?” She cocked her head, imploring, smile encouraging. “We’ve got to celebrate.”
He swallowed again. His voice was tight. “Yeah, okay.”
They climbed down the bleachers and headed toward the parking lot with the shrill blast of the coach’s whistle ringing behind them.
Carter didn’t look back. He knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to keep going.
