She felt her face heat, and watched it flush in the mirror. “We haven’t exactly used that label yet.”
“Yet,” Ava said. “But that’s what you are.”
Leah took a breath that trembled in her lungs. “I guess…I guess it just feels – daunting.”
“Daunting?”
“To be an old lady. That’s an exclusive, badass group to join.”
Ava chuckled. “Oh, come on.”
“No, I’m serious. It’s…honestly intimidating.”
A beat. Ava said, “You’re serious.”
“Duh.”
“Leah” – concerned now – “we’ve been best friends for most of our lives. It’s just me, and Mom; and Holly and Kris are really sweet; and Sam, and Whitney, and Mina.”
“I know. But. I want to measure up.”
“Leah,” Ava said again, gently chiding. “It isn’t like that. I don’t want you to worry. You’re already family.”
Leah sank down on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know why I’m being so weird about this.”
“Because new things are scary,” Ava said, sagely. “Even if you know it’s okay, you freak out anyway.”
“Says the girl who never freaks out.”
Ava snorted. “Please. My stomach was in knots the first time Mercy and I went to one of these parties together.”
“I don’t believe you,” Leah said, chuckling at the very idea.
“I was! Mercy and I had never been together openly in front of everyone else. When I was seventeen, that was – anyway. Dad was still kind of Dadding-out about it, and we’d eloped on our way to New Orleans, and hadn’t even invited my mom, and I was pregnant, and he was still healing up, andso muchhad changed since the last party.” A deep breath rustled across the phone. “I’d been Ghost and Maggie’s daughter my whole life to all the men and women in that club, and suddenly I’d taken a step up on the hierarchy ladder. I didn’t know if these people I’d grown up around would see me as an adult, and as an old lady, or if they’d think I was pretending.
“Damn. Okay, now I get why you’re nervous.”
“See?”
They laughed together, quietly. Leah said, “But it worked out all right for you.”
“Exactly. And it will for you, too.”
There was something cathartic about expressing fears, and having them reflected back in a friend’s voice. Leah hung up feeling lighter, and more determined. She finally settled on black jeans, a plain white top, and boots that, while printed with flowers, had chunky soles. Punk leaning cute, she thought.
The outfit certainly got a quick, appreciative glance from Carter when he turned up on her doorstep at seven-thirty. He gave himself a shake, and met her gaze, offering a small, new-smelling helmet to her.
“No, it’s okay, you can look,” she said, laughing, pleased.
He did, dragging his teeth across his lower lip in a much more blatant show of interest, and, oh, that did things to her.
She snapped the helmet on – somehow, it was a perfect fit, and she wondered if he’d measured her head or something while she was sleeping – to hide her sudden blush. “Ready to go?”
“If you are.” His gaze flicked back up to hers, cleared, and she saw a faint glimmer of concern. “Ava said you were nervous.”
“That traitor. Some best friend she is.”
“No, that’s – she’s looking out for you. That’s something I’d want to know.” He tipped his head. “Areyou nervous?”
