Erin stared out the car window, arms folded, frowning like a child during the drive. But when she climbed out of the car and saw Emmie coming toward them with a tacked-up chestnut gelding in tow, some of her belligerence melted.
Now, perched unsteadily up on Sherman’s broad back, Erin’s brow was crimped in concentration, listening intently to Emmie’s instructions as the horse plodded along at the end of a longe line.
“Good job,” Emmie said. “Thumbs up on top of the reins – there, there you go. Bring your shoulders back a little. Chin up. Good.”
Sam folded her arms over the top rail and rested her chin on her wrist. She liked the sight of her sister working hard at something, even if it was only keeping her heels down at a slow walk. She liked the barn smells, hay and dust and horsehide. She liked the contrasting beauty and simplicity of this place; the fancy siding on the walls as backdrop for the manure piles. It was windier here than in town, the breeze tugging her hair loose from its braid. She closed her eyes, let the sun warm the lids, let herself relax and bask a moment.
She heard the grass brushing against someone’s feet before a voice called out to Emmie, “Em, can I talk to you when you get a chance?” The words were polite enough, but the tone was cold.
Sam’s eyes snapped open and slid over toward the elegant brunette standing beside her at the rail. Tonya wore a long skirt with boots, a sweater and chic black trench. Her sunglasses alone probably cost more than Sam’s entire outfit.
“Sure,” Emmie called back, and began reeling the line in, pulling Sherman and Erin in toward her. “Hey, let’s step over to the rail for a minute,” she told her student, and something about her voice was wrong suddenly.
Sam swallowed hard and braced herself just before Tonya’s sunglasses turned toward her. “I haven’t seen you here before,” she said like she wished that were still the case.
It was on the tip of Sam’s tongue to remind the woman that they’d gone to elementary school together. Instead, she replied just as coolly. “My sister and I are new here. My boyfriend and Emmie’s husband are friends–”
Tonya made a derisive sound. “God, you’re with one of those bikers?”
Emmie was walking toward them, towing along the horse. “Tonya, I’m coming.”
Sam stared at the spoiled woman-child’s white face, her flawless complexion, her designer everything, her red lipstick sneer. She’d never done anything like it in her life, but in that moment, she couldn’t contain the venom boiling in her blood. Just once, it would be nice to have the one-up on someone. Just this time, it’d be good to be the one to drop a bomb.
“Yeah,” she said, raising herself up, hands clenched on the rail. “I am. Actually, I’m with the biker who dropped you like a hot rock for being a heartless bitch.”
Oh God, she’d actually said it. The wordbitchhad left her lips. She thought she might faint; she wanted to smile.
Tonya’s perfect brows lifted above her lenses. “Aidan? Then take it from me,honey, and make sure he wears a rubber. Hedidtell you what happened between us, didn’t he? He got me pregnant.”
Everything stopped. Her heart, her lungs, her mind. Time. All of it ceased to function, as if a switch had been pressed. Funny, some distant voice in the back of her conscience thought. When your life derailed, wasn’t there supposed to be an awful crash? A terrible screech? Record scratch effects and gasps and sudden ugly sobs?
Instead there was this vacuum, this emptiness, the farm fading to a white blur, Tonya nothing but a black coat and glasses in front of her.
“Oh, he didn’t tell you,” she said. “He didn’t tell you he was going to be a dad. That asshole.”
Emmie’s voice seemed to be coming down a tunnel. “Tonya!” It was furious, but it was so far away. “What are you – oh shit. Sam? Sam?”
Why was she calling her; she was right there, holding onto the…
Wait, no. No rail. Nothing in her hands. Nothing but air. She was…
The jarring impact of her ass hitting the ground snapped her teeth together. She bit her tongue and it was the hot copper taste of blood that jerked her out of the void. She was sitting in the grass, numb head to toe, and she couldn’t pull in a breath.
Emmie hopped the fence, still holding the longe line, and crouched in front of her, snapped her fingers. “Sam? Hey, it’s alright.”
No. It wasn’t anywhere close to alright.
Aidan.HerAidan, who she’d kissed and hugged and slept with; who she’d confessed her love to, entrusted her heart with. Aidan who she’d hesitated to trust, since the beginning, since that first walk to the vending machines. But who had persevered, convinced her, made her fall for him…And beneath all of that, their fragile, tender beginning, a lie that was a life, growing in the belly of another woman.
~*~
“Sam.” Emmie gave her shoulder a gentle shake and got no reaction. She sat there splay-legged like a broken doll. “Shit.”
Management mode. Emmie turned to Erin. “Scramble down and come help your sister. There’s cold drinks in the fridge in the tack room. Get her one.”
Erin, eyes big, nodded and awkwardly dismounted, hopping the fence. Her young voice was high and scared as she said, “Sam. Sam! What’s wrong?” She glanced back at Emmie. “Is she sick? Should we call nine-one-one?”
“No, she’s okay,” Emmie assured. “Take her up to the barn, get some Coke in her, and she’ll snap out of it.” She knew from personal experience that this was the calm before the emotional storm, that initial shock that scraped you clean inside.
